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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust, folks! Wendy’s, succumbing to the woke mob and their insatiable demands for “organic,” “sustainable,”…

“MTG to Write Nancy Pelosi Fanfic After Retirement News”
Elephant Reads CNN

“MTG to Write Nancy Pelosi Fanfic After Retirement News”

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 6, 2025

Marjorie Taylor Greene, bless her heart, is praising Nancy Pelosi? Is this the end times? Has the Deep State finally…

DC Sandwich Sniper Walks Away a Free Man, Leaving a Trail of Crumbs and Disappointment
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Sandwich Sniper Walks Away a Free Man, Leaving a Trail of Crumbs and Disappointment

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Another day, another victory for the radical Left! A D.C. jury, likely filled with card-carrying socialists from Georgetown, has acquitted…

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic NYC Victory: Three Maps That Prove He Didn’t Just Imagine It
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic NYC Victory: Three Maps That Prove He Didn’t Just Imagine It

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Folks, can you believe what’s happening in the once-great city of New York? Zohran Mamdani, probably a socialist, maybe even…

NATCA Prez Says Expect Holiday Delays (Duh) | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NATCA Prez Says Expect Holiday Delays (Duh) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Oh, great, now the air traffic controllers, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Party, are whining about delays. It’s all…

Pelosi Retires: Stock Traders Now Forced to Actually Work
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pelosi Retires: Stock Traders Now Forced to Actually Work

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Looks like the Wicked Witch of the West Coast is finally hanging up her broom! Nancy Pelosi, that champion of…

‘We’re drowning in generosity’: Military family group hilariously unprepared for tidal wave of grocery requests during government tantrum | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘We’re drowning in generosity’: Military family group hilariously unprepared for tidal wave of grocery requests during government tantrum | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

So, CNN, the champion of fake news, is shedding crocodile tears over military families struggling during a government “shutdown” that…

Supreme Court Sides With Trump on Trans Passports: Because Pronouns Are Hard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Sides With Trump on Trans Passports: Because Pronouns Are Hard

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

The Supreme Court, in a stunning victory for common sense, has ALLOWED the Trump administration to require passports to reflect…

“No Blue, No Green: So You’re Saying We’re Screwed, Sylvia?”
Elephant Reads CNN

“No Blue, No Green: So You’re Saying We’re Screwed, Sylvia?”

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh, boy, another deep-sea leftist pushing the climate hoax! “Dr.” Sylvia Earle, a Rolex-sponsored eco-shriek, tells CNN about how lucky…

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic! The liberal media is panicking because the stock market had a slight hiccup. They’re…

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