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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

US Economy “Rebounded” (Yeah, Right) in Q2
Elephant Reads CNN

US Economy “Rebounded” (Yeah, Right) in Q2

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Another WIN for President Trump! The liberal media at CNN is trying to downplay it, but the US economy is…

Viktor Gyökeres: Is This the Guy Who’s Gonna Save Arsenal? LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Viktor Gyökeres: Is This the Guy Who’s Gonna Save Arsenal? LOL

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Another European socialist infiltrates our sacred sport! Viktor Gyökeres, likely funded by Soros, joins Arsenal, a club known for its…

Social Security to Seniors: “U Up?” (But Only If You Can Pass Our Vibe Check First)
Elephant Reads CNN

Social Security to Seniors: “U Up?” (But Only If You Can Pass Our Vibe Check First)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, the Social Security Administration is at it again, folks! Looks like they’re finally cracking down on all those fraudsters…

GOP Senators Confirm Totally Not Controversial Trump Lawyer to Lifetime Gig, Libs Still Crying
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senators Confirm Totally Not Controversial Trump Lawyer to Lifetime Gig, Libs Still Crying

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Foiled! Despite the Left’s best efforts, President Trump’s nominee, Emil Bove, has been confirmed as a…

Oops! Orange Man Says “No More Bargain Bin” for Indian Goodies, Might Slap ‘Em with a 25% “Because I Can” Tax
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Orange Man Says “No More Bargain Bin” for Indian Goodies, Might Slap ‘Em with a 25% “Because I Can” Tax

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another day, another opportunity for President Trump to MAGA! He’s not afraid to call out these countries like India, who…

Inside 345 Park Avenue: A Totally Normal Day Until, You Know, *That* Happened
Elephant Reads CNN

Inside 345 Park Avenue: A Totally Normal Day Until, You Know, *That* Happened

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Folks, can you believe what happened in New York City? Another day, another mass shooting, and where does it happen?…

GOP Brainstorm: How to Rig Senate Rules to Fast-Track Trump’s Cronies
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Brainstorm: How to Rig Senate Rules to Fast-Track Trump’s Cronies

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN is reporting that Senate Republicans are considering options to speed up…

ICE Cold: They Let the Marine’s Wife Go (Probably ‘Cause the Baby Was Crying)
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Cold: They Let the Marine’s Wife Go (Probably ‘Cause the Baby Was Crying)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another sob story from the Fake News peddlers at CNN! They’re at it again, trying to…

Democrat’s Brainwave: A+ Plan to Save the Dems (Spoiler: It Involves Rainbows and Unicorns)
Elephant Reads CNN

Democrat’s Brainwave: A+ Plan to Save the Dems (Spoiler: It Involves Rainbows and Unicorns)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, no! The Deep State’s funding is being cut! How will they push their woke agenda now? Of course, the…

DOJ Gets Rid of Some Lawyers Who Maybe Didn’t Salute Hard Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ Gets Rid of Some Lawyers Who Maybe Didn’t Salute Hard Enough

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another day, another deep state purge! President Trump is STILL draining the swamp, folks! These so-called “senior antitrust attorneys” probably…

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