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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Trump Gets to Fire People, America Still Exists
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets to Fire People, America Still Exists

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a river! The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has allowed our glorious…

Meta, the woke overlord, blesses us with “teen safety” features while vaporizing a measly 635,000 accounts (because they’re totally the real problem)
Elephant Reads CNN

Meta, the woke overlord, blesses us with “teen safety” features while vaporizing a measly 635,000 accounts (because they’re totally the real problem)

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Meta, formerly known as that bastion of leftist propaganda, Facebook, is now pretending to care about the…

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Folks, another day, another socialist scare from CNN! They’re trying to distract you from President Trump’s incredible leadership, but we…

Roommate Gets a Front-Row Seat to Kohberger’s Bad Hair Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Roommate Gets a Front-Row Seat to Kohberger’s Bad Hair Day

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another win for justice – or so they say! This Kohberger character, finally admitting to the…

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew
Elephant Reads CNN

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, great, another puff piece on women’s boxing, brought to you by the same folks who think men can get…

Orange Man Still Mad at Black Man, Even Though Dead Pervert Is Involved
Elephant Reads CNN

Orange Man Still Mad at Black Man, Even Though Dead Pervert Is Involved

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make President Trump look bad for calling out Barack Hussein Obama,…

Harvard’s Visa Program Under Investigation: Is This How You Say “Welcome to America?”
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard’s Visa Program Under Investigation: Is This How You Say “Welcome to America?”

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

The Trump administration, led by the fearless Marco Rubio, is bravely diving into the murky depths of Harvard University to…

Harvard’s Huskiness Hustle: Trump’s Brain Freeze Threatens Science
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard’s Huskiness Hustle: Trump’s Brain Freeze Threatens Science

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

Oh, the outrage! CNN is clutching its pearls because some snowflake got a little roughhousing from our brave boys in…

Arwa Damon’s Hot Take on Palestinians’ Gaza Diet Plan | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Arwa Damon’s Hot Take on Palestinians’ Gaza Diet Plan | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

Oh, boo-hoo, more “Palestinians” supposedly killed by Israel. I bet they were all innocent “civilians” trying to get a free…

CNN’s hot take: Orange man blames Obama for existing
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s hot take: Orange man blames Obama for existing

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

CNN, that bastion of truth (LOL!), is at it again, trying to defend Obama and the Deep State from the…

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