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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Ford Accidentally Made 694,000+ Bronco Sport and Escape “Surprise Ejector Seat” SUVs
Elephant Reads CNN

Ford Accidentally Made 694,000+ Bronco Sport and Escape “Surprise Ejector Seat” SUVs

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the irony! Ford, trying to go green with their compact SUVs, is now recalling almost 700,000 vehicles because they…

Oops! Kentucky Cop Gets a Time-Out for Botching Breonna Taylor Raid
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Kentucky Cop Gets a Time-Out for Botching Breonna Taylor Raid

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another leftist sob story! Looks like the Deep State’s plan to crucify anyone remotely connected to law enforcement…

Netanyahu Declares NYC Mayoral Candidate’s Ideas So Dumb, They’re Basically a Threat to World Peace
Elephant Reads CNN

Netanyahu Declares NYC Mayoral Candidate’s Ideas So Dumb, They’re Basically a Threat to World Peace

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting on how Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu dared to criticize some radical leftist Dem running…

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another crime in the once-great state of New York, now a festering sanctuary for illegals and home to…

Pepsi Jumps on the Bandwagon: Probiotic Soda – Because Regular Soda Wasn’t Unhealthy Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

Pepsi Jumps on the Bandwagon: Probiotic Soda – Because Regular Soda Wasn’t Unhealthy Enough

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another woke corporation bowing down to the liberal mob! Pepsi, once a proud purveyor of sugary goodness, is…

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)
Elephant Reads CNN

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls over the Epstein files, trying to paint President Trump…

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad
Elephant Reads CNN

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Hollywood leftist Malcolm-Jamal Warner, famous for “The Cosby Show” (before Bill got cancelled by the…

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?
Elephant Reads CNN

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Folks, you won’t believe the latest from the Fake News Network! It seems that poor, poor Stephen Colbert is losing…

Starbucks spills the beans on the earth-shattering return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte
Elephant Reads CNN

Starbucks spills the beans on the earth-shattering return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, CNN, still obsessing over Starbucks while the REAL news is being suppressed by the Deep State! Millions “coping” with…

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak
Elephant Reads CNN

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! First eggs, now beef! Can you believe these socialist policies are making our steaks unaffordable? It’s all…

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