Oh, the horror! First eggs, now beef! Can you believe these socialist policies are making our steaks unaffordable? It’s all part of the radical left’s plan to turn us into vegan soy-boys dependent on the government.
The liberal media at CNN is finally noticing that beef prices are “spiking,” almost 9% since January, reaching a whopping $9.26 a pound! They blame it on shrinking herds and drought, but we know the real reason: the Democrats’ war on farmers and ranchers, pushing their green agenda that destroys our livelihoods.
And get this – they admit that lowering beef prices is “harder than lowering the price of eggs.” Of course! Eggs are easy to manipulate with their “Corporate America” supply chain, but real American beef? That’s the “Wild West,” baby! The free market at work, unless the socialists get their grubby hands on it.
Don’t even get me started on imported beef! Argentina, Australia, Brazil – they’re all trying to undercut our American ranchers, probably with the help of George Soros. And exports are down? That’s because the world is jealous of our superior American beef, thanks to President Trump’s policies!
Walmart is trying to cut costs with its own beef facility, but that’s just a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. The real solution? More Trump, less tofu! Let’s Make America Beefy Again!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
