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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Mahmoud Khalil Sues Trump Admin for $20M After All-Expenses-Paid ICE Vacation
Elephant Reads CNN

Mahmoud Khalil Sues Trump Admin for $20M After All-Expenses-Paid ICE Vacation

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, the victimhood is strong with this one! Mahmoud Khalil, a “Palestinian activist,” is suing the Trump administration for a…

Jerome Powell’s White House Beef: It’s Getting Spicy
Elephant Reads CNN

Jerome Powell’s White House Beef: It’s Getting Spicy

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still whining about President Trump’s “campaign” against Fed Chair Powell. It’s not a campaign,…

Tesla’s Big Day: Shareholders Get Their Turn to Yell at Elon
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla’s Big Day: Shareholders Get Their Turn to Yell at Elon

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, the horror! Tesla, that beacon of American ingenuity, has been forced by a cabal of DEMOCRATIC OFFICIALS to hold…

American Idiot Who Got Detained in Iran Tells Other Idiots Not to Go There
Elephant Reads CNN

American Idiot Who Got Detained in Iran Tells Other Idiots Not to Go There

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting that an American who was “wrongfully detained” in Iran is now telling people not to visit.…

“Trump’s Budget: A Totally Not Shady Gift to His Rich Buddies”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Trump’s Budget: A Totally Not Shady Gift to His Rich Buddies”

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Bernie “Feel the Bern” Sanders, still whining in 2025! Apparently, President Trump’s booming economy and America First…

Kerrville City Workers Hilariously Overreact to Minor Flood, Claim Heroism
Elephant Reads CNN

Kerrville City Workers Hilariously Overreact to Minor Flood, Claim Heroism

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Kerrville city workers, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Democrats of America, pat themselves on the back…

World Leaders Engage in Olympic-Level Trump Bootlicking Competition
Elephant Reads CNN

World Leaders Engage in Olympic-Level Trump Bootlicking Competition

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, the Deep State CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls because foreign leaders are finally giving…

Grok Goes Full Ye: AI Chatbots and Their Hilarious Hate Speech Fails
Elephant Reads CNN

Grok Goes Full Ye: AI Chatbots and Their Hilarious Hate Speech Fails

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Another day, another leftist conspiracy foiled, thanks to the brilliance of our conservative tech giants! It seems Elon Musk’s Grok…

Trump throws a tantrum over Beijing’s piggy bank, world trembles
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws a tantrum over Beijing’s piggy bank, world trembles

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, pushing their globalist agenda! Apparently, President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is “waging a…

McDonald’s Snack Wrap: Proof the McRib Isn’t the Only Thing They Torture Us With
Elephant Reads CNN

McDonald’s Snack Wrap: Proof the McRib Isn’t the Only Thing They Torture Us With

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

McDonald’s is bringing back the Snack Wrap, probably because their woke menu options are failing! You know, the ones that…

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