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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Trump Calls Elon “Off the Rails,” Nobody Surprised
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Trump Calls Elon “Off the Rails,” Nobody Surprised

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, the liberal lunacy! Elon Musk, once a beacon of innovation, has apparently succumbed…

JD Vance, the Brains Behind Trump’s Foreign Policy? You Gotta Be Kidding Me
Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance, the Brains Behind Trump’s Foreign Policy? You Gotta Be Kidding Me

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, trying to make our great VP Vance look like he’s changed his mind. These…

Camp Mystic’s Soggy Apocalypse: 27 Campers Take a Dive, Counselors Join the Underwater Party
Elephant Reads CNN

Camp Mystic’s Soggy Apocalypse: 27 Campers Take a Dive, Counselors Join the Underwater Party

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, and you just know the liberal media is going to blame President Trump somehow. A girls’…

Pennsylvania Man’s Head-Chopping TikTok Career to Continue in Court
Elephant Reads CNN

Pennsylvania Man’s Head-Chopping TikTok Career to Continue in Court

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist bites the dust! Justin Mohn, the Pennsylvania psycho who beheaded his father and posted it…

Oops! All 7 “Missing” Folks Found (and Extra Crispy) at Exploded Fireworks Warehouse
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! All 7 “Missing” Folks Found (and Extra Crispy) at Exploded Fireworks Warehouse

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, but let’s be honest, folks, is this really just an accident? A fireworks warehouse explodes in…

Stocks Soar While Wall Street Sweats Tariffs (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Soar While Wall Street Sweats Tariffs (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, Wall Street’s “highly anticipating” what President Trump’s about to unleash? More like trembling in their overpriced boots! These traders…

‘Always a peacemaker’: How Trump, the Dove of Destruction, Decided to Grace Iran With His Benevolent Inaction | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Always a peacemaker’: How Trump, the Dove of Destruction, Decided to Grace Iran With His Benevolent Inaction | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting on President Trump’s handling of the Iran situation? You know, the same CNN that couldn’t find…

‘Alligator Alcatraz’: Florida’s Hilarious New Migrant Resort (You Won’t BELIEVE the Amenities)
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Alligator Alcatraz’: Florida’s Hilarious New Migrant Resort (You Won’t BELIEVE the Amenities)

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

Looks like those snowflakes at CNN are at it again, whining about our GREAT President Trump’s fantastic idea to secure…

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Somehow Clawed Its Way to Box Office Domination | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Somehow Clawed Its Way to Box Office Domination | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

Another summer, another chance for Hollywood to brainwash our youth! “Jurassic World Rebirth” stomped the box office, raking in $147…

Bessent threatens tariff tantrum: ‘Liberation Day’ or negotiation nation, your choice, world
Elephant Reads CNN

Bessent threatens tariff tantrum: ‘Liberation Day’ or negotiation nation, your choice, world

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, trying to make President Trump’s brilliant trade moves sound like the end…

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