Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Noem throws a tantrum, demands total power over disaster funds, potentially dooming us all
Elephant Reads CNN

Noem throws a tantrum, demands total power over disaster funds, potentially dooming us all

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, the horror! According to CNN, fearless leader Kristi Noem is actually trying to stop the endless flow of taxpayer…

Indonesia’s Volcano Throws Temper Tantrum, Ash Edition | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Indonesia’s Volcano Throws Temper Tantrum, Ash Edition | CNN

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Another volcano eruption? Probably caused by those climate change fanatics trying to Geoengineer the planet. Bet you anything it’s a…

Supreme Court Says “Nah, Kids Can’t Transition in Tennessee, LOL”
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Says “Nah, Kids Can’t Transition in Tennessee, LOL”

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

The Supreme Court, in a moment of sanity, upheld Tennessee’s ban on mutilating children in the name of “gender-affirming care.”…

Juneteenth 2025: The Definitive Guide to What’s Open (and More Importantly, What’s CLOSED, You Peasant)
Elephant Reads CNN

Juneteenth 2025: The Definitive Guide to What’s Open (and More Importantly, What’s CLOSED, You Peasant)

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, goodie, another day off for the libs to celebrate victimhood! CNN reports that Americans will be “celebrating” Juneteenth, the…

UBS Gets Hacked (Again!), Blames Some Random Provider
Elephant Reads CNN

UBS Gets Hacked (Again!), Blames Some Random Provider

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Another day, another cyberattack, and guess what? It’s those sneaky Swiss banks, UBS and Pictet, caught with their lederhosen down!…

Ethan Embry’s Career Hits Rock Bottom: Stars in ‘Alma and the Wolf’
Elephant Reads CNN

Ethan Embry’s Career Hits Rock Bottom: Stars in ‘Alma and the Wolf’

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Hollywood liberals are at it again, pushing their woke agenda with a “psychological thriller” set in the Pacific Northwest. You…

Senate Accidentally Approves Funny Internet Money Law, World Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Accidentally Approves Funny Internet Money Law, World Doomed

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the swamp creatures in the Senate have been at it again, haven’t they? They’ve passed some so-called “bipartisan” crypto…

Nezza butchers U.S. anthem in Taco Bell language at baseball game | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Nezza butchers U.S. anthem in Taco Bell language at baseball game | CNN

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! A Florida sheriff, probably a closet Trump supporter, had the audacity to…

Judge Says Gov’t Can’t Stop the Rainbow Passport Party
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Says Gov’t Can’t Stop the Rainbow Passport Party

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for the woke mob! A Biden-appointed judge, probably sipping a soy latte while wearing a “Resist”…

RFK Jr. vs. Big Pharma Ads: Let the Broadcaster Bloodbath Begin
Elephant Reads CNN

RFK Jr. vs. Big Pharma Ads: Let the Broadcaster Bloodbath Begin

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still crying about Trump, even in 2025! Now they’re whining that RFK Jr., yes,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 398 399 400 … 411 Next

Latest posts

  • LEGALIZER: Man Asks If Neighbor Can Make Him Wave Every Morning, Gets Dragged Into Federal Jurisdiction
  • Londoners suddenly care about privacy now
  • GOP Loyalty to Trump’s Iran Policy Suddenly Develops Mysterious Cracks
  • Garth Brooks Launches 2026 Blame It All On My Roots Tour
  • Japan’s Economy Is Apparently America’s Secret Overlord Now

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.