Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Oops! Another Rocket Goes Boom: Space Program Still Totally Fine
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Another Rocket Goes Boom: Space Program Still Totally Fine

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Another day, another LIBERAL plot foiled! SpaceX? More like Space-FAIL, am I right? Probably a deep-state operative trying to sabotage…

CNN Reporter Bravely Visits Israeli Hospital (Prepare for Propaganda)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Reporter Bravely Visits Israeli Hospital (Prepare for Propaganda)

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with the theatrics! “Hospital struck!” Cue the dramatic music. But wait, no deaths? And Iran conveniently says…

5 Things You Need To Know on June 18 (Or Pretend To, IDK)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Need To Know on June 18 (Or Pretend To, IDK)

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Iran’s Shenanigans, Gaza’s Still a Thing, Crypto Bros Crying, Volcano Go BOOM, and Hockey. 1. Iran Trump, the only one…

Witness Claims She Saw Idaho Murder Suspect, But Did She REALLY? You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next
Elephant Reads CNN

Witness Claims She Saw Idaho Murder Suspect, But Did She REALLY? You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, the tangled web we weave when we let woke ideology run amok! So, this Kohberger case, right? They found…

Obama’s EPIC FAIL: Begs for Trump Resistance (Cringe!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Obama’s EPIC FAIL: Begs for Trump Resistance (Cringe!)

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, boy, here we go again! Obama, the former Divider-in-Chief, is back to lecture us on democracy, or what’s left…

Boulder Hate Crime: Is This Guy Really That Hateful or Just Having a Bad Hair Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Boulder Hate Crime: Is This Guy Really That Hateful or Just Having a Bad Hair Day

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, the tolerant Left! Here we have Mohamed Sabry Soliman, an Egyptian national and illegal alien, who allegedly tried to…

Liquid Death’s Newest Brainfart: Whiskey So Old, It’s Practically Fossilized
Elephant Reads CNN

Liquid Death’s Newest Brainfart: Whiskey So Old, It’s Practically Fossilized

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Ah, yes, more woke garbage from the liberal elites! “Liquid Death” water teams up with WhistlePig Whiskey to create “GraveStock…

Waymo Back in NYC: Still Begging for Robot Overlords
Elephant Reads CNN

Waymo Back in NYC: Still Begging for Robot Overlords

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, great, more robots taking American jobs, brought to you by the same folks who censor conservatives! Waymo, Google’s little…

Texas Instruments to Blow $60 Billion on Semiconductors in the US, Probably a Bad Idea
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Instruments to Blow $60 Billion on Semiconductors in the US, Probably a Bad Idea

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Another day, another win for President Trump! CNN, in its usual understated way, reports that Texas Instruments is investing over…

Fox News, the MAGA media’s mouthpiece, beats the war drums while they bicker like toddlers over the Israel-Iran spat–CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Fox News, the MAGA media’s mouthpiece, beats the war drums while they bicker like toddlers over the Israel-Iran spat–CNN Business

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls because President Trump might be watching Fox News and…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 397 398 399 … 411 Next

Latest posts

  • LEGALIZER: Man Asks If Neighbor Can Make Him Wave Every Morning, Gets Dragged Into Federal Jurisdiction
  • Londoners suddenly care about privacy now
  • GOP Loyalty to Trump’s Iran Policy Suddenly Develops Mysterious Cracks
  • Garth Brooks Launches 2026 Blame It All On My Roots Tour
  • Japan’s Economy Is Apparently America’s Secret Overlord Now

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.