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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Police Mistakenly Kill College Student Who Couldn’t Use GPS
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Police Mistakenly Kill College Student Who Couldn’t Use GPS

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a 22-year-old college student, Glenwood Pysher IV, who was killed by Pennsylvania…

ICE Agent Gets Reprieve From Prison But Not From Bureaucratic Limbo
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Agent Gets Reprieve From Prison But Not From Bureaucratic Limbo

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal judge has declined to intervene in a politically sensitive…

Bryan Kohberger Gets Two Whole Hearings to Maybe Not Be Guilty
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bryan Kohberger Gets Two Whole Hearings to Maybe Not Be Guilty

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026August 26, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Bryan Kohberger, the guy who pleaded guilty to stabbing four University…

Trump Gifts Saudis Nuclear Deal With Enrichment Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gifts Saudis Nuclear Deal With Enrichment Because Why Not

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration has sent a nuclear cooperation agreement with Saudi…

Lindsay Clancy Trial Finally Wraps Up Testimony
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lindsay Clancy Trial Finally Wraps Up Testimony

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the Lindsay Clancy trial, and I have to say, it’s a real…

Apple Launches iPhone Under New CEO Because That’s What They Do
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apple Launches iPhone Under New CEO Because That’s What They Do

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

Well, folks, it looks like Apple is about to shake things up with their new CEO, John Ternus, who’s set…

Billionaire Begs to Not Be Replaced by Robots Yet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaire Begs to Not Be Replaced by Robots Yet

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Bill Gates’ latest warnings on AI, and folks, it’s a doozy. He’s arguing…

China Accused of Spying on Basically Everyone Everywhere
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

China Accused of Spying on Basically Everyone Everywhere

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this latest news from CNN. Apparently, US officials…

Inflation Keeps Being A Huge Party Pooper For Consumers Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Keeps Being A Huge Party Pooper For Consumers Again

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest economic news, and let me tell you, it’s a mixed…

Guillotine Enthusiast Takes Road Trip to US Capitol
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Guillotine Enthusiast Takes Road Trip to US Capitol

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a guy who decided to drive all the way from California to…

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