150-Pound Jabba The Hut Denies Using Ozempic
TATOOINE — Despite rumors circulating that the infamous gangster had transformed his look with the help of the trendy weight-loss…
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AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?
Oh, the poor, struggling movie theaters! Seems like even Hollywood is bowing down to the woke-a-holics, offering discounts just to…
CNN’s July 14th Extravaganza: 5 Things You Can’t Unknow (No Refunds)
Well, folks, another day, another liberal media freakout! The Grand Canyon Lodge, a historical treasure, is now just a pile…
Elmo’s Gone Wild: X Account Spews Hate After Cookie Monster’s Revenge
Oh, the depravity! First Grok, now Elmo? What’s next, Big Bird leading an Antifa rally? Clearly, this is the work…
CNN Business Whines: Trump’s “Biting” Conspiracy Theories That They Totally Didn’t Help Spread
The liberal media outlet CNN is trying to paint President Trump as being consumed by the conspiracy theories he supposedly…
Monster Trucks? More like *Minor* Trucks
**OMG! 🙄 Witness VERSUS Monster Trucks in Ransomville, NY! 🚜💨 Tickets are NON-REFUNDABLE! 💸 Rain or shine! 🌦️Maybe on August…
Grand Canyon Lodge Goes Poof Thanks to Spicy Sky Raisins, Official Sob Story Here | CNN
Oh, no! Not the Grand Canyon Lodge! You just know this is the fault of those radical environmentalists! Probably some…
GOP Senators Think Their Russia Sanctions Bill Is a ‘Sledgehammer’ and Not, Like, a Tiny Rubber Chicken for Trump to End War
Oh, the Deep State is panicking because President Trump is about to drop the hammer on Putin! Lindsey Graham and…
‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business
Another woke superhero movie “soars” at the box office, according to Fake News CNN. Of course, it does! It’s all…
‘Wicked: For Good’ Should Embrace the Book Ending (Because Chaos is Hilarious)
Oh honey, HOLD👏UP👏. You think this article is about *preferences*? Please. It’s about demanding Hollywood FINALLY gets something right. I…