Media Says No Evidence Demon-Horned Man With Sith Tattoos And Red Lightsaber A Member Of The Sith
CORUSCANT — Despite rampant allegations regarding the appearance of a dark-robed figure engaging in nefarious activities on various star systems,…
Category: Babylon Bee
Parents Distraught After Finding Soccer Ball Under Son’s Bed
GLADEWATER — Local parents Carl and Patricia Nootsen are reportedly distraught after discovering a soccer ball under their son’s bed.…
Kamala Harris Livestream Speech Will Charge $25 To Use Mute Button
U.S. — An upcoming live-streamed speech by former Vice President Kamala Harris will reportedly charge viewers $25 to mute her.…
Newly Discovered Third Epistle To Timothy Features Paul Warning Him Against Starting A Podcast
EPHESUS — An ancient document discovered in the region of Ephesus may be a long-lost third letter to Timothy, where…
9 Changes New Prime Minister Will Bring To Canada
Mark Carney defeated conservative challenger Pierre Poilievre in Canada’s 2025 federal election to become the next Prime Minister of America’s…
Europe Promises To Get The Electricity Back Up ASAP So Everyone Can Hear The Muslim Calls To Prayer
LISBON — Following massive power grid failures that plunged multiple countries into blackouts, Europe promised its citizens it would get…
Wife Beginning To Suspect Husband’s Thoughtful, Relevant Responses To Her Texts Might Be A.I. Generated
STOCKTON, CA — According to sources, local wife Sue Page is beginning to suspect that her husband’s thoughtful and relevant…
Women Shocked To Learn Pill Designed To Murder Babies Might Not Be Safe
SEATTLE — Women across the country have been shocked to learn that mifepristone and misoprostol, pills designed to murder babies…
With No Pope to Oversee Them, Cardinals Stay Up All Night Playing Goldeneye And Building Pillow Forts
VATICAN CITY — With no pope to oversee them, the College of Cardinals has been staying up every night playing…
Democrats Hold Candlelight Vigil In Front Of Illegal Immigrant Mugshots
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional leaders held a solemn ceremony in the nation’s capital today, as Democratic senators arrived at the…