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Category: Babylon Bee

Investigation Concludes Trump Is The Only One Who Didn’t Collude With Russia
Babylon Bee

Investigation Concludes Trump Is The Only One Who Didn’t Collude With Russia

FinnJuly 31, 2025

U.S. — Newly declassified intelligence files revealed that every politician, government official, and political candidate except Donald Trump colluded with…

‘Behold, He Is Not Dead, But Merely Sleeping,’ Pastor Declares Before Waking Harold In Back Pew
Babylon Bee

‘Behold, He Is Not Dead, But Merely Sleeping,’ Pastor Declares Before Waking Harold In Back Pew

FinnJuly 30, 2025

LITTLE ROCK, AR — Congregants at a local church were witnesses to a remarkable event, as a man who had…

Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics To Spend More Time With Vodka
Babylon Bee

Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics To Spend More Time With Vodka

FinnJuly 30, 2025

SACRAMENTO — Former Vice President Kamala Harris officially announced today that she would be stepping away from politics in order…

7 Items That Have Become Totally Unaffordable In Trump’s Economy
Babylon Bee

7 Items That Have Become Totally Unaffordable In Trump’s Economy

FinnJuly 30, 2025

Inflation may have skyrocketed under Biden, but Trump has also caused massive price increases for several beloved products. Here are…

Christian Parents Decide Portable Porn-Streaming Device Perfect Gift For 13-Year-Old Boy
Babylon Bee

Christian Parents Decide Portable Porn-Streaming Device Perfect Gift For 13-Year-Old Boy

FinnJuly 30, 2025

SANTA CLARITA, CA — Christian parents living in the valley have finally decided that a portable porn-streaming device is the…

CNN: White Man In Bronco Leading Police On High-Speed Chase
Babylon Bee

CNN: White Man In Bronco Leading Police On High-Speed Chase

FinnJuly 30, 2025

LOS ANGELES — CNN has reported that a white man driving a Ford Bronco is leading police on a chase…

9 Early Frontrunners For The 2028 Democratic Primary
Babylon Bee

9 Early Frontrunners For The 2028 Democratic Primary

FinnJuly 29, 2025

Sure, the calendar may still read “2025,” but the 2028 presidential primary season will be here before you know it.…

Universal Studios Hollywood Unveils Long-Awaited ‘Scent Of A Woman’ Land
Babylon Bee

Universal Studios Hollywood Unveils Long-Awaited ‘Scent Of A Woman’ Land

FinnJuly 29, 2025

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA — Universal Studios Hollywood officially broke ground Tuesday on a new themed land at its popular theme…

Man With Strong Urge To Eat Wicker Basket Settles For Triscuit Instead
Babylon Bee

Man With Strong Urge To Eat Wicker Basket Settles For Triscuit Instead

FinnJuly 29, 2025

GRAND RAPIDS, MI — After experiencing a strong urge to eat a wicker basket, a man has decided to settle…

Cincinnati Police Chief Asks Citizens Not To Film Crimes Next Time As It Makes Her Look Bad
Babylon Bee

Cincinnati Police Chief Asks Citizens Not To Film Crimes Next Time As It Makes Her Look Bad

FinnJuly 29, 2025

CINCINNATI, OH — Friday’s violent mob-style attack took social media by storm over the weekend, forcing Chief of Police Teresa…

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