Man Builds Time Machine Just To Go Back To When He Had Never Heard Of Andrew Tate
POTTSTOWN, PA — A long-awaited scientific breakthrough finally took place today, as a local man successfully built a time machine…
Category: Babylon Bee
Transgender Mouse Obliterates Female Mouse In Laboratory MMA Event
LAS VEGAS, NV — Staff members at a local scientific research facility were shocked into silence yesterday, as a transgender…
Catholic Condemned To 800 More Years In Purgatory After Failing To Post Ash Selfie
BOSTON, MA — A devoted Catholic man was devastated after being notified that he had been condemned to an additional…
9 Essential Items France Is Providing In Defense Of Ukraine
With the U.S. suspending all military aid amid contentious negotiations for peace, the historically courageous nation of France announced that…
German In Jail For A Meme Sure Hopes EU Can Stop Spread Of Russian Tyranny
FRANKFURT — According to sources, a German man who was jailed by authorities for sharing a meme is expressing hope…
Apostle Paul Reportedly Shipwrecked So Many Times Because He Failed To Ask For Traveling Mercies
CAMBRIDGE — In a noteworthy new discovery, a group of biblical scholars revealed a new consensus opinion that the Apostle…
Mechanic Exhausted After Long Day of Making Up Fake Car Parts That Need To Be Fixed
ALLENTOWN, PA — Local mechanic Ruben Rivera appeared exhausted Wednesday after a long day making up fake car parts that…
Catholic Church Introduces White Ashes For Black People
VATICAN — Ash Wednesday in 2025 was the most inclusive ever, say Vatican officials, thanks to the introduction of new…
Democrats Ready To Defend Department Of Education Just As Soon As They Figure Out What It Does
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With reports circulating that President Donald Trump was preparing to sign an executive order to eliminate the…
Air1 Runs Another Commercial About How They Don’t Have Any Commercials
FRANKLIN, TN — Listeners were in for an unexpected treat last night, as Christian radio network Air1 unveiled another commercial…