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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny’s At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of

FinnMay 19, 2026

    LOST HILLS, CA — New reports show the four old guys hanging out at Denny’s at 6 a.m. are…

Babylon Bee

Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids

FinnMay 19, 2026

    OVERLAND PARK, KS — The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news…

Babylon Bee

Abigail Adams Starting To Believe Husband Made Up This Whole ‘Continental Congress’ As An Excuse To Hang Out With The Boys

FinnMay 19, 2026

    QUINCY, MA — Weary from a major smallpox outbreak in her area, the wife of John Adams claimed she…

Babylon Bee

White House Insists High Gas Prices Are Small Price To Pay For Accomplishing Nothing In Iran

FinnMay 19, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the nation facing its highest gas prices in years, the Trump administration assured Americans that…

Babylon Bee

Wife Can’t Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again

FinnMay 18, 2026

    BOISE, ID — With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get…

Babylon Bee

8 Scary Facts About Data Centers

FinnMay 18, 2026

    AI uses a lot of power, and it needs massive data centers to support it. That’s why, despite data…

Babylon Bee

MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox

FinnMay 18, 2026

    BOSTON, MA — To keep games from getting out of hand, Major League Baseball announced that it would be…

Babylon Bee

New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate

FinnMay 18, 2026

    U.S. — New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the “Make Everything Worse”…

Babylon Bee

Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He’s Getting Really Into The Civil War

FinnMay 18, 2026

    BANGOR, ME — Local dad David Kemp gathered his family together today to break the news to them that…

Babylon Bee

Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known

FinnMay 18, 2026

    ALTOONA, PA — Local man Ted Woods got tired of all the time spent getting angry online. “There’s always…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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