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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Scholars Now Believe Number Of The Beast Is Actually 67

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    JERUSALEM — In a development which many see as an irrefutable sign of the impeding end times, biblical scholars…

Babylon Bee

Flintstones Vitamins With Ozempic Now Available For Fat Kids

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    MORRISTOWN, NJ — Drug manufacturer Bayer announced this week that they are releasing their popular Flintstones vitamins with added…

Babylon Bee

Teenager Struggling To Stay Awake After Only Getting 14 Hours Of Sleep

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Sources say local teenager Ben Jackson was really struggling to stay awake the day after only…

Babylon Bee

New Dad-GPT Just Responds To All Queries With “OK”

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    SILICON VALLEY, CA — AI has become more lifelike than ever before, say advance users of OpenAI’s new “Dad-GPT,”…

Babylon Bee

After Latest Head Injury, Fetterman Announces He’s Joining Whig Party

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — After suffering yet another head injury, Senator John Fetterman announced he was joining the Whig Party.…

Babylon Bee

8 Ways Trump Is Exactly Like Moses

FinnNovember 16, 2025

    You may think President Trump has little in common with Moses from the Old Testament, but you’d be wrong.…

Babylon Bee

Millions Convert To Christianity After Theologians Confirm There Is No Microsoft Teams In Heaven

FinnNovember 16, 2025

    WORLD — In an event the likes of which haven’t been seen in decades, millions of people converted to…

Babylon Bee

In Devastating Blow, Newly Released Emails Reveal Trump Not Well-Liked By Pedophile

FinnNovember 15, 2025

    U.S. – In a huge blow to President Trump, newly released emails indicate that he was not well-liked by…

Babylon Bee

Five Guys Now Offering 50-Year Burger Financing

FinnNovember 14, 2025

    ALEXANDRIA, VA — Inspired by the Trump White House’s move toward 50-year mortgages, popular burger chain Five Guys announced…

Babylon Bee

Dodge Introduces New Truck Headlights That Blast Gamma Ray Bursts Into Your Eyeballs

FinnNovember 14, 2025

    AUBURN HILLS, MI — Truck manufacturer Dodge unveiled new headlights today that would come standard with new models and…

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  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

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Finn December 31, 2025
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