After Latest Head Injury, Fetterman Announces He’s Joining Whig Party
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After suffering yet another head injury, Senator John Fetterman announced he was joining the Whig Party.…
Category: Babylon Bee
8 Ways Trump Is Exactly Like Moses
You may think President Trump has little in common with Moses from the Old Testament, but you’d be wrong.…
Millions Convert To Christianity After Theologians Confirm There Is No Microsoft Teams In Heaven
WORLD — In an event the likes of which haven’t been seen in decades, millions of people converted to…
In Devastating Blow, Newly Released Emails Reveal Trump Not Well-Liked By Pedophile
U.S. – In a huge blow to President Trump, newly released emails indicate that he was not well-liked by…
Five Guys Now Offering 50-Year Burger Financing
ALEXANDRIA, VA — Inspired by the Trump White House’s move toward 50-year mortgages, popular burger chain Five Guys announced…
Dodge Introduces New Truck Headlights That Blast Gamma Ray Bursts Into Your Eyeballs
AUBURN HILLS, MI — Truck manufacturer Dodge unveiled new headlights today that would come standard with new models and…
Bose Introduces New Mariah Carey-Canceling Headphones For Christmas
FRAMINGHAM, MA — Going out in public during the holiday season without being overcome with the desire to shove…
Poem On Statue Of Liberty Updated To Read ‘No Fatties’
NEW YORK, NY — As part of a change in immigration policy designed to limit the incoming of foreign…
Children’s Church Sermon Jam-Packed With Heresies
DALLAS, TX — The children’s pastor of Flame Passion Born Again Friends Fellowship Church caught the community’s attention after…
Megyn Kelly Gets Rid Of Old Pager Just To Be Safe
NEW YORK, NY — Political commentator Megyn Kelly quietly tossed her pager in the trash this week in what…