RED ALERT: Your Toddler Can Now Reach The Counter
RED ALERT! Everything you once believed is a lie. Your toddler is now capable of reaching your counters, and…
Category: Babylon Bee
Democrats Warn Of Chilling Effect Voter ID Will Have On Rigged Elections
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold defense of democracy, Democrats warned Americans about the chilling effect voter ID laws…
Somalis Demand Americans Stop Judging Them By The Content Of Their Character
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Representatives of the Somali community issued a statement demanding that Americans stop judging them by the…
Democrats Say Things Would Be Much Safer If Law Enforcement Would Just Stop Trying To Enforce The Law
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following recent ICE-related shootings, Democrat leaders stepped forward to remind the nation that everything would be…
Anthropologists Discover Uncontacted Tribe In Remote Area Of IKEA
COSTA MESA, CA — A team of anthropologists hard at work completing a field study announced that they had…
With Maduro In Custody, Here Are 7 Other People Trump Should Arrest Immediately
President Donald Trump ordered the arrest of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, toppling a brutal totalitarian regime. But he’s only…
Tim Walz Calls In Somali Military To Fight Against ICE
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Governor Tim Walz took decisive action to back up his aggressive rhetoric against federal immigration operations…
Teenager Confused How Parents Still Don’t Know Everything When It Only Took Him 16 Years
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local teen Ethan Gardener expressed confusion this week over how he had managed to…
Democrats Demand To Know Why ICE Agents Can’t Just Shoot Cars In The Leg
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Democrats took to social media following the deadly ICE shooting in Minneapolis to demand to know…
Democrats Once Again Threaten Civil War To Stop Republicans From Taking Away Their Slave Laborers
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — For the second time in American history, Democrats are threatening civil war if Republicans do not…