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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Anchor Bravely Grills Speaker Johnson on the Impending Government Apocalypse (Again)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Anchor Bravely Grills Speaker Johnson on the Impending Government Apocalypse (Again)

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Another week, another list of leftist distractions our great President Trump must overcome! Tylenol? Probably needs it after dealing with…

Michigan Church Does the Unthinkable: Hosts a Wildly Unsuccessful Prayer Meeting, Sources Say
Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Church Does the Unthinkable: Hosts a Wildly Unsuccessful Prayer Meeting, Sources Say

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Another day, another “peaceful” incident, this time at a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Grand Blanc, Michigan.…

Trump to invade Virginia with top military brass next week, CNN reports
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump to invade Virginia with top military brass next week, CNN reports

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, plans to attend a meeting with top…

Rudy “Loose Lips” Giuliani Pays Dominion to Shush About 2020 Election Fables
Elephant Reads CNN

Rudy “Loose Lips” Giuliani Pays Dominion to Shush About 2020 Election Fables

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Another day, another leftist plot foiled, folks! Rudy Giuliani, a true American patriot, has reached a settlement with Dominion Voting…

Congressional Bigwigs to Schmooze with Trump at White House Monday as Government Shuts Down Like a Cheap Toy
Elephant Reads CNN

Congressional Bigwigs to Schmooze with Trump at White House Monday as Government Shuts Down Like a Cheap Toy

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Oh, the Deep State Democrats are at it again, trying to sabotage our glorious President Trump! They’re meeting at the…

Alaska Pays People to Exist: Find Out Why (and How to Snag Your Loot) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Alaska Pays People to Exist: Find Out Why (and How to Snag Your Loot) | CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Another socialist scheme gone awry! Alaska’s “Permanent Fund Dividend,” sounds like a communist plot if you ask me. Free money…

U.S. Economy Refuses to Die, World Annoyed
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Economy Refuses to Die, World Annoyed

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Oh, the economy is such a disaster, isn’t it? According to CNN, those socialist commies are whining that people “hate…

Amazon Prime Settlement: Free Money or Fool’s Gold
Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon Prime Settlement: Free Money or Fool’s Gold

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Another day, another leftist witch hunt! Now the FTC, probably staffed with radical socialists, is going after Amazon. They claim…

‘We’re Totally Not Panicking’: Feds Prepare For Their Paid Vacay (oops, Shutdown) And Maybe Getting Fired | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

‘We’re Totally Not Panicking’: Feds Prepare For Their Paid Vacay (oops, Shutdown) And Maybe Getting Fired | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re peddling fear about a possible government shutdown, claiming federal employees are…

Silicon Valley Geriatrics Learn to Use SkyNet
Elephant Reads CNN

Silicon Valley Geriatrics Learn to Use SkyNet

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Oh, great, another bleeding-heart story from CNN about some woke wunderkind! Jacob Shaul, this little genius, is teaching seniors about…

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