Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Obamacare Open Enrollment: Prepare for Sticker Shock Thanks to Socialist Subsidies! The failing Affordable Care Act is back in the…

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust, folks! Wendy’s, succumbing to the woke mob and their insatiable demands for “organic,” “sustainable,”…

“MTG to Write Nancy Pelosi Fanfic After Retirement News”
Elephant Reads CNN

“MTG to Write Nancy Pelosi Fanfic After Retirement News”

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 6, 2025

Marjorie Taylor Greene, bless her heart, is praising Nancy Pelosi? Is this the end times? Has the Deep State finally…

DC Sandwich Sniper Walks Away a Free Man, Leaving a Trail of Crumbs and Disappointment
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Sandwich Sniper Walks Away a Free Man, Leaving a Trail of Crumbs and Disappointment

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Another day, another victory for the radical Left! A D.C. jury, likely filled with card-carrying socialists from Georgetown, has acquitted…

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic NYC Victory: Three Maps That Prove He Didn’t Just Imagine It
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic NYC Victory: Three Maps That Prove He Didn’t Just Imagine It

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Folks, can you believe what’s happening in the once-great city of New York? Zohran Mamdani, probably a socialist, maybe even…

NATCA Prez Says Expect Holiday Delays (Duh) | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NATCA Prez Says Expect Holiday Delays (Duh) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Oh, great, now the air traffic controllers, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Party, are whining about delays. It’s all…

Pelosi Retires: Stock Traders Now Forced to Actually Work
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pelosi Retires: Stock Traders Now Forced to Actually Work

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Looks like the Wicked Witch of the West Coast is finally hanging up her broom! Nancy Pelosi, that champion of…

‘We’re drowning in generosity’: Military family group hilariously unprepared for tidal wave of grocery requests during government tantrum | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘We’re drowning in generosity’: Military family group hilariously unprepared for tidal wave of grocery requests during government tantrum | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

So, CNN, the champion of fake news, is shedding crocodile tears over military families struggling during a government “shutdown” that…

Supreme Court Sides With Trump on Trans Passports: Because Pronouns Are Hard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Sides With Trump on Trans Passports: Because Pronouns Are Hard

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

The Supreme Court, in a stunning victory for common sense, has ALLOWED the Trump administration to require passports to reflect…

“No Blue, No Green: So You’re Saying We’re Screwed, Sylvia?”
Elephant Reads CNN

“No Blue, No Green: So You’re Saying We’re Screwed, Sylvia?”

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh, boy, another deep-sea leftist pushing the climate hoax! “Dr.” Sylvia Earle, a Rolex-sponsored eco-shriek, tells CNN about how lucky…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 228 229 230 … 387 Next

Latest posts

  • Government Probe Discovers Former Labor Secretary Was Really Relaxed Boss
  • Mateo Sujatovich Is Latin Music’s Busiest Man
  • M83 Drops New Track Blister Sunrise Now Streaming
  • Violet Grohl Covers The Cures High for Triple J
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump proposes helping Ukraine build Patriot missiles

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.