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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

‘These were ISIS-inspired actions’: 2 dudes charged after IEDs are tossed near Mayor Mamdani’s crib
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘These were ISIS-inspired actions’: 2 dudes charged after IEDs are tossed near Mayor Mamdani’s crib

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Just Another Day in Democrat Utopia: NYC Under Siege by “ISIS-Inspired” Clowns Oh look, it’s just another peaceful protest in…

Live Nation Antitrust Trial Resuming: Because Apparently Settling Was Too Mainstream
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Live Nation Antitrust Trial Resuming: Because Apparently Settling Was Too Mainstream

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Justice Department Caves to Live Nation in Another Biden-Era Softball Settlement Well, well, well, looks like the swamp creatures at…

Trump Claims Middle East ‘Win’ While Avoiding Tough Question Like a Pro
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Claims Middle East ‘Win’ While Avoiding Tough Question Like a Pro

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Hold on to your MAGA hats, folks! Donald Trump, the greatest negotiator since Moses parted the Red Sea, just brokered…

Trump’s New Fundraising Email: Features Soldiers’ Dignified Transfer Photo, Promises ‘Private National Security Briefings’ for VIPs
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s New Fundraising Email: Features Soldiers’ Dignified Transfer Photo, Promises ‘Private National Security Briefings’ for VIPs

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Patriots, Rejoice! Trump’s ‘National Security Briefings’ Offer the Truth Democrats Want to Hide! President Donald J. Trump, the Commander-in-Chief who…

Bill Maher to receive Mark Twain Prize at Kennedy Center after White House denied reports
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bill Maher to receive Mark Twain Prize at Kennedy Center after White House denied reports

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

TV host Bill Maher will receive the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, the Kennedy Center announced on Thursday…

Big Tech Whiners Celebrate Their Big Tobacco Moment While Kids Still Get Screwed on Social Media
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Big Tech Whiners Celebrate Their Big Tobacco Moment While Kids Still Get Screwed on Social Media

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Big Tech’s Latest Defeat: Liberal Judges Finally Target Zuckerberg’s Empire Well, well, well, folks—look what happens when woke activists and…

Obstacles to Ending War Come into Focus as US and Iran Argue Like Toddlers Over Toys | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Obstacles to Ending War Come into Focus as US and Iran Argue Like Toddlers Over Toys | CNN Politics

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Holy Heck, Trump’s Slamming Iran Like a Boss! Just a month ago, some pencil-pushers in Geneva met with Iran, and…

GOP lawmakers vent frustration over Trump admin’s Iran war info drought — because who needs transparency when you’ve got chaos?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP lawmakers vent frustration over Trump admin’s Iran war info drought — because who needs transparency when you’ve got chaos?

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Trump’s America Unbowed: House RINOs Whine as Iranian Regimes Shake in Their Sandals So let me get this straight –…

OpenAI Pulls Plug on Sora Video App: Because Who Needs Innovation Anyway?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI Pulls Plug on Sora Video App: Because Who Needs Innovation Anyway?

Big ElephantMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Liberal Tech Elites Suffer Another Embarrassing Defeat as OpenAI Kills Off Woke Video App Well, well, well! It looks like…

Republican Phil Berger, One of North Carolina’s Most Powerful Politicians, Throws in the Towel on State Senate Race Because Democracy Demands It (Or Maybe He Just Got Tired of Winning)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Republican Phil Berger, One of North Carolina’s Most Powerful Politicians, Throws in the Towel on State Senate Race Because Democracy Demands It (Or Maybe He Just Got Tired of Winning)

Big ElephantMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

North Carolina’s Most Powerful GOP Senator Takes a Dirt Nap Thanks to MAGA Anger Well, well, well… look who just…

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Latest posts

  • Flooded Laos cave, who cares, not America’s problem anyway
  • LibERAL SNOWFLAKES whine about Trump’s perfectly justified Nespotjustice
  • Liberal elitists whine about Brit’s bad behavior again somehow
  • Grandma Demoted To Sippy Cup
  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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