Senate GOP to Parents: “Get a Job (Maybe)” in Trump’s ‘Totally Not a Trap’ Bill
Oh, the horror! The Senate Agriculture Committee, probably infiltrated by deep-state socialists, is “toning down” work requirements for food stamps.…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Supreme Court Sides with Crybaby Families in Landmark “My Kid’s So Special” Case
Another day, another unanimous Supreme Court decision, probably orchestrated by the Deep State to lull us into a false sense…
JetBlue Pilots Attempted to Mow the Lawn at Logan Airport, Claimed They Were “Just Following the GPS”
Folks, can you believe it? Another day, another “accident” conveniently timed to disrupt our lives! A JetBlue flight, probably filled…
“Oops, Iran, We Might Actually Bomb You This Time”: Ex-Diplomat’s Hilarious Take on Nuclear Negotiations
Oh, here we go again! Another “expert” from the Deep State telling us about the “tense negotiations” with Iran. Negotiations?…
Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout
Another day, another leftist conspiracy theory bites the dust! CNN is clutching its pearls because the Trump administration supposedly didn’t…
VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom
Oh, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. What’s next? A 10-year-old commie, probably raised on soy milk and socialist propaganda, shoots his mom because…
Waukesha Condo Owners Still Alive After Almost-Building Incident, Celebrate With Cake
Another day, another disaster, probably caused by some woke engineer who was too busy virtue signaling to check the structural…
High School Jocks Discover Veterans Aren’t Just NPCs in a War Movie
Oh, isn’t that precious? These young, probably God-fearing, football players are helping veterans. Finally, some good news that doesn’t involve…
From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows
Oh, the heartwarming tale of a Christmas tree farm in Wooster, Ohio! It’s just precious how Rita Dush is keeping…
Oh, the Horror: “Puppy Mill” Unearths a Whopping 200 Fluffy Felons in Ocean County
Oh, the horror! Another day, another leftist sanctuary turning into a cesspool. Seems like these “animal lovers” were too busy…