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Category: Breaking

Gears of War E-Day Release Date Definitely Going to Get Body Slammed by a WWE Pay Per View Event Somehow
The WWE and Gears of War: Because Who Needs a Definitive Release Date, Anyway? 🤷‍♂️
Breaking, Games News

Gears of War E-Day Release Date Definitely Going to Get Body Slammed by a WWE Pay Per View Event Somehow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 11, 2026May 11, 2026

Hey, gamers and wrestling fans! 👋 Are you ready for some exciting news? 🎉 We’ve just discovered that the WWE…

Fake news attacks Trump’s amazing golf skills again what a shock
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news attacks Trump’s amazing golf skills again what a shock

Big ElephantMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the so-called “experts” and “fact-checkers” trying to spin the latest news about the economy under…

DEVILDRIVER’s DEZ FAFARA On Upcoming Album That Will Probably Save Your Soul Or At Least Make You Headbang So Hard You’ll Forget Your Own Name ‘Strike And Kill’
Breaking, Music News

DEVILDRIVER’s DEZ FAFARA On Upcoming Album That Will Probably Save Your Soul Or At Least Make You Headbang So Hard You’ll Forget Your Own Name ‘Strike And Kill’

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious face-melting, ear-bleeding, and head-banging? 🤯🎸 Because DEVILDRIVER is back with their…

Russia celebrates real victory, unlike fake America’s woke failures
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Russia celebrates real victory, unlike fake America’s woke failures

Big ElephantMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat, folks. I’m about to dissect an article that’s just dripping with fake…

Who cares about Eva Longoria’s stupid luggage habits anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who cares about Eva Longoria’s stupid luggage habits anyway

Big ElephantMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

This is a total disaster, folks, a complete and utter disaster. I’m reading this article and I just can’t believe…

OMG You Guys DRAGONFORCE Finally Found a Singer Who Can Scream Louder Than Their Guitar Solos and Her Name is ALISSA WHITE GLUZ
Breaking, Music News

OMG You Guys DRAGONFORCE Finally Found a Singer Who Can Scream Louder Than Their Guitar Solos and Her Name is ALISSA WHITE GLUZ

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

Breaking news, folks! 🚨 The most epic band in the world, DRAGONFORCE, has just made their live debut with their…

BREAKING: Metallica Suddenly Remembers They’re Old And Play Very Greek Song To Confused Fans In Athens
Breaking News: Metallica Still Exists and People Still Care 🤯
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: Metallica Suddenly Remembers They’re Old And Play Very Greek Song To Confused Fans In Athens

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

The legendary metal band Metallica kicked off their 2026 leg of the “M72” world tour in Athens, Greece, and we’re…

Oh no, Iran’s big cheese is hiding under his turban
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh no, Iran’s big cheese is hiding under his turban

Big ElephantMay 9, 2026May 9, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Gabi Torres Basically Channels Her Inner Crazy Person to Make Overpriced Trinkets That Taylor Swift Totes Loves
Breaking

Gabi Torres Basically Channels Her Inner Crazy Person to Make Overpriced Trinkets That Taylor Swift Totes Loves

Chuck B. BallsyMay 9, 2026May 9, 2026

Oh joy, another celebrity-endorsed jewelry brand that’s totally not just a bunch of overpriced sparkly rocks 🎉💎! Gabi Torres, the…

Because What the DC Universe Really Needs is Another Movie About Two Edgy Villains with Daddy Issues Trying to Outbrood Each Other
Breaking, Movie News

Because What the DC Universe Really Needs is Another Movie About Two Edgy Villains with Daddy Issues Trying to Outbrood Each Other

FinnMay 9, 2026May 9, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, DC has decided to join forces two of its most iconic villains, Deathstroke and…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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