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Category: Breaking

Pentagon’s Anthropic Blacklist Deemed Totally Not Orwellian
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon’s Anthropic Blacklist Deemed Totally Not Orwellian

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal appeals court just ruled that the Department of Defense…

Mississippi Police Reveal Tasia Fortune’s Death Was Just Drama
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mississippi Police Reveal Tasia Fortune’s Death Was Just Drama

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and I just can’t help but think that this…

Bond Market Having Total Meltdown Because Oil
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bond Market Having Total Meltdown Because Oil

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the bond market, and folks, it’s been a wild ride. Bond yields are…

Trump Wins Right To Make Voter Registration More Fun
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Wins Right To Make Voter Registration More Fun

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court just gave President Trump a big win in…

Trump’s Observation Deck Ruins Military Funerals with Great Views
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Observation Deck Ruins Military Funerals with Great Views

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s proposed triumphal arch, and I have to say, it’s…

Etsy Is Selling a $139 Old West Blasting Machine — Don’t Pull the Handle
Breaking

Etsy Is Selling a $139 Old West Blasting Machine — Don’t Pull the Handle

FinnSeptember 25, 2026September 25, 2026

Etsy has a rather unusual piece of Old West-inspired decor for anyone who thinks regular home decorations are a little…

Sony Mulls Killing PS5 Discs to Boost Digital Profits
Breaking, Games News

Sony Mulls Killing PS5 Discs to Boost Digital Profits

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 25, 2026September 25, 2026

It seems like Sony is trying to gauge the temperature of the development community, and by extension, the gaming public,…

Unicorn Overlord’s latest cash grab Dawngazer promises action and regret
Breaking, Games News

Unicorn Overlord’s latest cash grab Dawngazer promises action and regret

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 25, 2026September 25, 2026

Get ready for another glorious iteration of the “New IP” shuffle, folks, as Monochrome Corporation and Good Smile Company announce…

CNN Gets Access Back Because Apparently That’s News Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Gets Access Back Because Apparently That’s News Now

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the White House, and I have to say,…

Trump Keeps Trying To Silence Critics Courts Keep Telling Him No
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Keeps Trying To Silence Critics Courts Keep Telling Him No

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the American courts are doing their job, defending…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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