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Category: Breaking

The Absolute *Shocking* Oscar Winners That Make Us Question Humanity’s Taste
Breaking, Movie News

The Absolute *Shocking* Oscar Winners That Make Us Question Humanity’s Taste

FinnMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Okay, let’s get this straight. The Academy Awards are meant to be the pinnacle of cinematic achievement—the gold standard for…

Iran’s New Hobby: Mine Crafting in the Strait of Hormuz
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran’s New Hobby: Mine Crafting in the Strait of Hormuz

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Oh boy, here we go again! Those Iranian terrorists are at it again, this time trying to choke off our…

Trump’s Air Force One Makeover: Because Nothing Says ‘America’ Like Stealing TWA’s Vibe and Obama’s Hand-Me-Downs
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Air Force One Makeover: Because Nothing Says ‘America’ Like Stealing TWA’s Vibe and Obama’s Hand-Me-Downs

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Trump’s Bold New Air Force One Paint Job Sparks Liberal Meltdown It’s official—President Donald Trump has once again proven he…

Resident Evil Requiem Director Spills Beans on Fresh Story Bits and Mini-Game Madness Brewing!
Breaking, Games News

Resident Evil Requiem Director Spills Beans on Fresh Story Bits and Mini-Game Madness Brewing!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Resident Evil Requiem Director Confirms More Content Is Coming, Because Five Million Sales Wasn’t Enough To Make Him Rich Well,…

LAMB OF GOD Drops By Philly For Surprise Gig Because Why Not Celebrate ‘Into Oblivion’ With Oblivion?
OMG, LAMB OF GOD is doing a super secret tiny concert in Philly and you're invited to beg for tickets like it's Black Friday at Walmart!
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops By Philly For Surprise Gig Because Why Not Celebrate ‘Into Oblivion’ With Oblivion?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

So, apparently LAMB OF GOD thinks they’re too cool for stadiums now and are playing at Philadelphia’s TLA (Theatre of…

Yoshi’s Mysterious Book: The Saga of the Missing May 21 Release Date Unveiled!
Breaking, Games News

Yoshi’s Mysterious Book: The Saga of the Missing May 21 Release Date Unveiled!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Oh look, it’s another Nintendo announcement and everyone’s losing their minds like they just found a rare amiibo in a…

Ed Martin, the Justice Department’s Most Wanted for Ethical Shenanigans, Finally Gets a Ticket
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ed Martin, the Justice Department’s Most Wanted for Ethical Shenanigans, Finally Gets a Ticket

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Deep State Strikes Back! Swamp Creatures Target Trump Ally Ed Martin Looks like the radical left-wing lawyers’ club is at…

Here We Go Again: The Epic Showdown Where Trump’s Blessing Battles MTG’s Ghost in the Land of MAGA Madness
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Here We Go Again: The Epic Showdown Where Trump’s Blessing Battles MTG’s Ghost in the Land of MAGA Madness

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

President Trump’s iron grip on the GOP is about to face its toughest test yet—thanks to a circus of candidates…

World War 3: The Sequel – Featuring Recession, Starring Your Wallet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

World War 3: The Sequel – Featuring Recession, Starring Your Wallet

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Uh oh, here comes the libtard media again, fearmongering about the economy. Fake news CNN wants you to believe the…

Alexander Bros Convicted of Sex Trafficking, Leaving Real Estate World Shook, Not Stirred
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Alexander Bros Convicted of Sex Trafficking, Leaving Real Estate World Shook, Not Stirred

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Look at this, folks! Three wealthy, powerful brothers—supposedly the kings of luxury real estate—turned out to be nothing but a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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