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Category: Breaking

Melissa Auf Der Maur blesses us with more music we didnt ask for
Breaking, Music News

Melissa Auf Der Maur blesses us with more music we didnt ask for

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh boy, get ready for a blast from the past! 🎸 Melissa Auf Der Maur, the iconic bassist of HOLE…

Fates Warning’s Ray Alder and Jim Matheos bless us with acoustic Under The Sun because you clearly needed this in your life
Breaking, Music News

Fates Warning’s Ray Alder and Jim Matheos bless us with acoustic Under The Sun because you clearly needed this in your life

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some news that will blow your minds? 🤯 I mean, I’m still trying…

Beer Runs Afoul Of Federal Law
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Beer Runs Afoul Of Federal Law

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about an 82-year-old Alaskan bush pilot, Kenneth Jouppi, who’s taking his case to…

Federal Building Gets Free Fireworks Courtesy of Angry Protester
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Building Gets Free Fireworks Courtesy of Angry Protester

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a guy who allegedly threw an incendiary device at New York City’s…

Harry Conklin Still Singing About Wizards And Stuff On New Cloven Hoof Album
Breaking, Music News

Harry Conklin Still Singing About Wizards And Stuff On New Cloven Hoof Album

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 I just found out that NWOBHM legends CLOVEN HOOF…

Kirk Windstein’s Back Acts Up Again Because He’s Old
Breaking, Music News

Kirk Windstein’s Back Acts Up Again Because He’s Old

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh no, the sky is falling! CROWBAR’s European tour is canceled, and I’m totally not surprised 🙄. I mean, who…

Westeros Wars Relaunches, Because Money Still Grows On Trees Apparently
Breaking, Games News

Westeros Wars Relaunches, Because Money Still Grows On Trees Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh joy, another delay in the world of gaming, because what’s a few more months of waiting when you’re ready…

Gaming Cash Grabs Unite: Avengers Remake Boasts Predictable Explosions and Familiar Faces
Breaking, Movie News

Gaming Cash Grabs Unite: Avengers Remake Boasts Predictable Explosions and Familiar Faces

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Get ready for the ultimate cash-grab, folks! The latest Avengers: Doomsday trailer has dropped, and it’s a doozy. I mean,…

Marvel Tōkon revives stale genre with obligatory next-gen tag team cash grab
Breaking, Games News

Marvel Tōkon revives stale genre with obligatory next-gen tag team cash grab

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Get ready for another thrilling iteration of the never-ending battle for gaming supremacy, folks! I recently had the chance to…

Junior’s Business Booms with Daddy’s Help
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Junior’s Business Booms with Daddy’s Help

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Apparently, Donald Trump Jr.’s investment firm, 1789 Capital, has been raking…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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