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Category: Breaking

“GOP Candidate Flees MN Race After Hilariously Losing ICE Snowball Fight, Blames Party’s ‘Tantrum-Fueled Backstab Parade’”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“GOP Candidate Flees MN Race After Hilariously Losing ICE Snowball Fight, Blames Party’s ‘Tantrum-Fueled Backstab Parade’”

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 27, 2026

Another snowflake Republican flees the field as President Trump’s AMERICA-FIRST patriots continue crushing liberal tears and weak-kneed RINOs! Chris “Cancelled”…

Why the Government Is Finally Giving Your Money Back After Keeping It For A Year And Expecting You To Be Grateful
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why the Government Is Finally Giving Your Money Back After Keeping It For A Year And Expecting You To Be Grateful

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Great News, Patriots! President Trump’s MAGA Tax Cuts Are Making the Government Send You Bigger Checks—While Democrats Seethe! It’s that…

Sam Raimi’s Latest Gore-Splattered Mid-Life Crisis Accidentally Funnier Than Evil Dead 4 Rumors
Breaking, Movie News

Sam Raimi’s Latest Gore-Splattered Mid-Life Crisis Accidentally Funnier Than Evil Dead 4 Rumors

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Oh look, it’s another cinematic masterpiece where you can FEEL Sam Raimi sweating onto the lens like a caffeinated gargoyle…

Another Freakin’ Minnesota Shooting Just Turned the Immigration Debate Into a Total Dumpster Fire
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another Freakin’ Minnesota Shooting Just Turned the Immigration Debate Into a Total Dumpster Fire

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening: The Deep State and Fake News Media are once…

Gun Rights Folks and Lawyers Wonder If Trump Even Knows What the Second Amendment Is Anymore After Latest Shooting
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gun Rights Folks and Lawyers Wonder If Trump Even Knows What the Second Amendment Is Anymore After Latest Shooting

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

ALERT: RINOS AND DEEP STATE AGENTS IN THE FBI AND DOJ ARE TURNING ON TRUMP AND THE SECOND AMENDMENT! They’re…

Meta, TikTok, and YouTube Summoned to Court Because Apparently, Getting Kids Addicted Wasn’t a “Feature”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Meta, TikTok, and YouTube Summoned to Court Because Apparently, Getting Kids Addicted Wasn’t a “Feature”

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Big Tech Finally Faces the Music: Woke Silicon Valley Moguls Put on Trial for Corrupting America’s Youth! Well, folks, the…

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin
Breaking, Movie News

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Hold onto your cowls, DC fanboys, because the Bat-Signal is flashing twice and it’s strobing like a rave in Arkham…

Ex-DEICIDE Guitarist JACK OWEN Tells Glen Benton He Wasn’t In His Weird Little Bubble But Thanks For The Invitation Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Ex-DEICIDE Guitarist JACK OWEN Tells Glen Benton He Wasn’t In His Weird Little Bubble But Thanks For The Invitation Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

So, here we are again, folks. Another day, another former member of a legendary death metal band throwing shade like…

GREAT WHITE’s MARK KENDALL Opens Up About His Stage Four Kidney Cancer Diagnosis: I Was Peeing ‘Actual Blood’ and Woke Up Looking Like a Crime Scene
Breaking, Music News

GREAT WHITE’s MARK KENDALL Opens Up About His Stage Four Kidney Cancer Diagnosis: I Was Peeing ‘Actual Blood’ and Woke Up Looking Like a Crime Scene

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Great White Shark Mark Kendall Battles Kidney Cancer With A Little Help From His Immune System And A Pen That…

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Latest posts

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  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 7, 2026

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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