The so-called “experts” and “critics” are at it again, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved President Donald Trump and the Republican Party. They’re saying that the recent surge in gas prices is a result of the President’s policies, including the withdrawal from the Iran nuclear deal and the imposition of tariffs on China. Can you believe it? These losers think they can just blame our fearless leader for the natural fluctuations of the market? Please, folks, get a grip. It’s just the free market doing its thing, and if you can’t handle a little price increase, then maybe you should stick to riding a bike or something. I mean, come on, $3 a gallon? That’s still cheaper than a cup of coffee at one of those fancy-schmancy Starbucks stores that all the liberals love so much.
And another thing, what’s with all this whining about the Iran nuclear deal? We got out of that terrible deal, and now the Iranians are Finally being held accountable for their actions. Those mullahs were just taking advantage of us, folks, and President Trump put a stop to it. And as for the tariffs on China, well, that’s just good old-fashioned American protectionism. We need to protect our jobs, our industries, and our way of life from those sneaky Commies. I mean, have you seen the trade deficit with China? It’s yuge, folks, just yuge. We’re getting ripped off, and President Trump is the only one brave enough to stand up to those Chinese bullies.
And don’t even get me started on the so-called “environmental concerns” surrounding the President’s energy policies. Listen, folks, we need fossil fuels, okay? They’re American, they’re reliable, and they’re the lifeblood of our economy. All this nonsense about renewable energy and climate change is just a bunch of tree-hugging, granola-munching, liberal claptrap. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen, right? A little global warming? Please, I’ll take a warm planet over a cold, dark, and socialist one any day of the week.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But what about the deficit, and the national debt?” Well, let me tell you, folks, that’s just a bunch of fake news. The economy is booming, and we’re creating so many jobs that we can’t even keep track of them all. And as for the debt, well, that’s just a number, a big, fat, meaningless number. We’ll just print more money, or something. I mean, have you seen the size of our military? We’re the strongest, most powerful nation on earth, and we can afford to spend a little extra on some fancy new jets and tanks.
So, to all you naysayers and haters out there, let me say this: you’re just wrong, plain and simple. President Trump is a genius, a mastermind, a big league winner. And if you can’t see that, then you’re just not paying attention. So, go ahead, keep on whining, keep on complaining, keep on #Resistance-ing. But at the end of the day, we’re going to win so bigly, and you’re just going to be left in the dust, crying about how unfair it all is. Sad!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
