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Category: Breaking

Elden Ring Nightreign’s Duo Expeditions: Now Delayed Because Mother Nature Decided to Rage Quit
Breaking, Games News

Elden Ring Nightreign’s Duo Expeditions: Now Delayed Because Mother Nature Decided to Rage Quit

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

OMG! 😱 FromSoftware DELAYS Elden Ring Nightreign Duo Expeditions Because the Ocean Decided to Throw a Tantrum! 🌊 Like, Seriously?…

Pokémon TCG Pocket’s Art Debacle: Legendary Cards Get Thanos Snapped for Ripping Off Real Artists
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon TCG Pocket’s Art Debacle: Legendary Cards Get Thanos Snapped for Ripping Off Real Artists

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

So, Pokémon TCG Pocket, the groundbreaking digital card game that’s totally not just a cynical cash grab, apparently had a…

‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers
Breaking, Movie News

‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, sweet golfing gods, bow down to the cinematic masterpiece that is Happy Gilmore 2! 🏌️‍♂️ After a grueling 30-year…

An Ocean Ov Wonderful, Delightful, Pleasant, Heavenly Paradise
Breaking, Music News

An Ocean Ov Wonderful, Delightful, Pleasant, Heavenly Paradise

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

So, the prevailing wisdom is that TRUE heaviness only exists if your guitar strings are so loose they could double…

Alice Cooper’s Grand Return: Prepare to be Rocked (in a Wheelchair)
Breaking, Music News

Alice Cooper’s Grand Return: Prepare to be Rocked (in a Wheelchair)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

So, Ozzy is finally pushing up daisies , and we’re all weeping into our lukewarm beers , aren’t we? But…

BUSH Drops ‘Scars’ Video From ‘I Beat Loneliness’ Album (Yeah Right)
Breaking, Music News

BUSH Drops ‘Scars’ Video From ‘I Beat Loneliness’ Album (Yeah Right)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

BUSH, those lovable relics from the mid-90s who are still somehow kicking, have graced us with a music video for…

Upcoming Horror Game I Hate This Place: More Like I Hate This Game, Am I Right
Breaking, Games News

Upcoming Horror Game I Hate This Place: More Like I Hate This Game, Am I Right

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, great, another survival horror game! 🙄 As if we needed more jump scares and poorly optimized gameplay. Broken Mirror…

The Sims 4 Uses FKA twigs’ Music Video to Trick You Into Buying More Stuff
Breaking, Games News

The Sims 4 Uses FKA twigs’ Music Video to Trick You Into Buying More Stuff

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Ah, yes, The Sims 4: Enchanted by Nature, the expansion pack so “enchanting” it had to bribe FKA twigs to…

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know
Breaking, Movie News

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Kevin “The Manipulator” Feige has spoken! 🗣️ And guess what? He’s got *another* X-Men movie…

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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