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Category: Breaking

NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

The New York Times has filed a counterclaim against the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), and I’m sipping my coffee,…

Vance Expands Housing Portfolio With Spare Virginia Mansion
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Expands Housing Portfolio With Spare Virginia Mansion

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

The latest news from the world of politics has me sipping my coffee with a healthy dose of amusement. It…

New Air Force One Soars, Hopefully Has Good Insurance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New Air Force One Soars, Hopefully Has Good Insurance

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

So, I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest flight on Air Force One, and…

Bipartisan Senators Miraculously Agree on Something with Trump Administration
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bipartisan Senators Miraculously Agree on Something with Trump Administration

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Bipartisan senators announced an agreement with the Trump administration to move…

Apple Sues OpenAI For Alleged Theft Of Secrets
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apple Sues OpenAI For Alleged Theft Of Secrets

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between Apple and OpenAI, and folks, it’s getting juicy. Apple…

The Gentlemen Season 2 Trailer Finally Drops Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Anything Better to Watch Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

The Gentlemen Season 2 Trailer Finally Drops Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Anything Better to Watch Anyway

FinnJuly 10, 2026July 10, 2026

Breaking News: Netflix Releases First Look at The Gentlemen Season 2, Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Guy Ritchie’s…

Because You Clearly Needed More Warped Tour In Your Midlife Crisis Vans Warped Tour 2026 now on Amazon Music
Breaking, Music News

Because You Clearly Needed More Warped Tour In Your Midlife Crisis Vans Warped Tour 2026 now on Amazon Music

Chord F. DiscordJuly 10, 2026July 10, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some epic nostalgia? 🤯 Amazon Music just announced that they’ll be exclusively livestreaming the…

STEELHEART Still Exists Somehow Releasing BADFINGER Cover
Breaking, Music News

STEELHEART Still Exists Somehow Releasing BADFINGER Cover

Chord F. DiscordJuly 10, 2026July 10, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 Miljenko Matijevic, the legendary frontman of STEELHEART, has finally decided to…

Alienware peddles overpriced monitors to nostalgic gamers again
Breaking, Games News

Alienware peddles overpriced monitors to nostalgic gamers again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 10, 2026July 10, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, Alienware and Dell are celebrating their 30th anniversary with a new…

White House Gets New Front Door Because Security Was Too Easy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Gets New Front Door Because Security Was Too Easy

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The White House is getting a security upgrade, and I’m not…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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