Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

📺 Netflix has once again proven it treats its original series like a toddler with a new toy—plays with it…

No Rest for the Wicked’s Together Update Proves Misery Loves Company and by Company We Mean Lag and Friendly Fire
Breaking, Games News

No Rest for the Wicked’s Together Update Proves Misery Loves Company and by Company We Mean Lag and Friendly Fire

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

🎉 Oh, look! Moon Studios finally figured out how to let us torment our friends in No Rest for the…

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Finally, ICE Agents Can Protect Our Borders Without Radical Leftist Judges Interfering! It’s about time our brave ICE agents got…

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning
Breaking, Movie News

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Buckle up, cinephiles and professional award-watchers, because the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences just dropped its annual list…

The Odds: Major Winter Storm Takes One Look at 1,500-Mile Stretch of Country, Says ‘Yeah, That’ll Do’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Odds: Major Winter Storm Takes One Look at 1,500-Mile Stretch of Country, Says ‘Yeah, That’ll Do’

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

BREAKING: leftist Weather Channel and their Deep State meteorologists at CNN are at it again, folks, trying to scare hard-working…

He-Man Flexes His Barely-Contained Pecs in a Nostalgia Grab So Desperate Even Skeletor Feels Bad for Him
Breaking, Movie News

He-Man Flexes His Barely-Contained Pecs in a Nostalgia Grab So Desperate Even Skeletor Feels Bad for Him

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Oh goodie, another cinematic universe! Because what we truly, desperately needed in the year of our Lord 2024 was a…

Consumers Keep Swiping Despite Prices That Are Just Vibes Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Consumers Keep Swiping Despite Prices That Are Just Vibes Now

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Under President Trump’s magnificent leadership, the American economy is absolutely booming, proving once again that only he can save us…

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)
Breaking, Music News

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

OPETH is back, and they’ve got a new video for you, you lucky, lucky degenerates. 🤘 If you’re looking for…

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue
Breaking, Music News

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Well, well, well, grab your popcorn and your hazmat suits, because the unauthorized documentary drama of the decade is back…

Jamie Dimon Hesitates to Criticize Trump… Until the Billionaire Remembers He Has a Wallet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jamie Dimon Hesitates to Criticize Trump… Until the Billionaire Remembers He Has a Wallet

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up at Davos. Jamie Dimon, the so-called “King of Wall Street,”…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 364 365 366 … 608 Next

Latest posts

  • Politicians Manage Not To Ruin 9/11 Ceremony Somehow
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Declassified FBI notes reveal Flynn interview discrepancies
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Donald J Trump shares oil expert Phil Flynn’s insights
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social September 9 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 9 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.