Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House
Breaking, Movie News

Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House

FinnJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Oh, sweet suffering cinephiles, brace yourselves! 🏀🐕 The cinematic masterpiece that none of us asked for, *Air Bud Returns*, is…

Witness the Utter Carnage: The Offspring Butcher Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’ in Appalling Tribute
Breaking, Music News

Witness the Utter Carnage: The Offspring Butcher Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’ in Appalling Tribute

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

California pop-punk has-beens THE OFFSPRING, desperate for attention as always, decided the best way to stay relevant was to butcher…

Roger Glover of Deep Purple ADMITS He Didn’t Bother Listening To Black Sabbath Much Because Doom Is A Buzzkill For Him
Breaking, Music News

Roger Glover of Deep Purple ADMITS He Didn’t Bother Listening To Black Sabbath Much Because Doom Is A Buzzkill For Him

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Barry Robinson of Classic Album Review (because, you know, we *really* needed his…

DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices
Breaking, Games News

DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

DEATH TO ALL, the tribute act for the late, great (allegedly) Chuck Schuldiner and his (arguably) pioneering band DEATH, is…

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships
Breaking, Games News

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

If you’d asked me about *Painkiller* a hot minute ago, I’d have been like, “Pain-what-now?” 🤷‍♂️ But then, Digital Foundry…

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom
Breaking, Music News

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Paramedics reportedly spent two hours treating Ozzy Osbourne before his inevitable demise on Tuesday, July 22. Two whole hours! 🕰️…

DualSense Gets Schizophrenic: Now Juggles PS5, PC, and Your Toaster
Breaking, Games News

DualSense Gets Schizophrenic: Now Juggles PS5, PC, and Your Toaster

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh boy, Sony has graced us with another earth-shattering, life-altering, paradigm-shifting PS5 update! 🙄 Prepare yourselves, peasants, because the DualSense…

‘Spinal Tap 2’: Prepare for a Sequel So Long-Awaited, It Might Just Break Your Back
Breaking, Movie News

‘Spinal Tap 2’: Prepare for a Sequel So Long-Awaited, It Might Just Break Your Back

FinnJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Behold! The geriatric rockers of Spinal Tap, back to assault your eardrums and your intelligence, louder (debatable) and older (definitely)…

Xbox Tries Not to Suck: The Outer Worlds 2 Price Plunge and Apology Tour
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Tries Not to Suck: The Outer Worlds 2 Price Plunge and Apology Tour

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, sweet gamers, gather ’round and feast your eyes on the latest saga of corporate greed and fanboy tears! 😭…

MACHINE HEAD Kicks Off Show with BLACK SABBATH Covers Honoring OZZY (Is This Real Life?)
Breaking, Music News

MACHINE HEAD Kicks Off Show with BLACK SABBATH Covers Honoring OZZY (Is This Real Life?)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

San Francisco Bay Area metallers MACHINE HEAD, bless their cotton socks, decided to honor Ozzy Osbourne by butchering two BLACK…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 408 409 410 … 493 Next

Latest posts

  • Donna Mills Joins OnlyFans At Age 85
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump celebrates historic disarmament deal in Gaza region
  • US Government Cartography Skills Still A Work In Progress Apparently
  • Lollapalooza Lineups Ranked From Worst To Best Ever
  • Translator Of Original ‘Minions’ Epic Poem Slams ‘Sexless, Bloodless’ Film Adaptation

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}