Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!
Breaking, Music News

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guitarist 🎸 Phil Fasciana of those geriatric Florida 🐊 death metallers 💀 MALEVOLENT CREATION (still around? 😂) has…

Fantastic Four: First Steps Takes a Step Back by Kicking a Classic Villain to the Curb
Breaking, Movie News

Fantastic Four: First Steps Takes a Step Back by Kicking a Classic Villain to the Curb

FinnJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh no! 😱 Malkovich got the boot from The Fantastic Four: First Steps! Was it his acting? Nah, probably just…

Judas Priest Still Kicking (Literally) at 2025 Hellfest: Proof That Metal Gods Don’t Know When to Quit
Breaking, Music News

Judas Priest Still Kicking (Literally) at 2025 Hellfest: Proof That Metal Gods Don’t Know When to Quit

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 ARTE Concert, bless their cotton socks, has dropped the entire JUDAS PRIEST performance from Hellfest 2025. So, if…

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?
Breaking, Games News

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh, look, another article about GTA VI.🙄 Twelve years, people! TWELVE YEARS we’ve been waiting for Rockstar to grace us…

Perry Farrell, Queen of Shade, Claps Back with Lawsuit Against Jane’s Addiction After They Try It
Breaking, Music News

Perry Farrell, Queen of Shade, Claps Back with Lawsuit Against Jane’s Addiction After They Try It

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

According to those paragons of journalistic integrity at Variety, Perry Farrell, the man who brought you Lollapalooza (and possibly VD),…

Chris Barnes Claims New SIX FEET UNDER Album Will Be Good (Press X to Doubt)
Breaking, Music News

Chris Barnes Claims New SIX FEET UNDER Album Will Be Good (Press X to Doubt)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Chris Barnes, the vocal… well, he vocalizes for those death metal dinosaurs SIX FEET…

The Orb, bless their cotton socks, unleash ‘Buddhist Hipsters’ album right before their UK tour – prepare for enlightenment (or at least a good nap)
Breaking, Music News

The Orb, bless their cotton socks, unleash ‘Buddhist Hipsters’ album right before their UK tour – prepare for enlightenment (or at least a good nap)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

OMG , the legends of ambient house, The Orb, are back with a new album called Buddhist Hipsters! Will it…

Genshin Impact’s Ban-Hammer: Age Up or GTFO on July 18th
Breaking, Games News

Genshin Impact’s Ban-Hammer: Age Up or GTFO on July 18th

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

So, apparently, Genshin Impact is now playing nanny and demanding everyone prove they’re not a bunch of toddlers before they…

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…

“I Know What You Did Last Summer” Review: More Like “I Know What You Did Last Summer” Snooze-fest
Breaking, Movie News

“I Know What You Did Last Summer” Review: More Like “I Know What You Did Last Summer” Snooze-fest

FinnJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Okay, so like, movies 🙄. Apparently, they’re supposed to teach us stuff. Like, according to the OG I Know What…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 409 410 411 … 488 Next

Latest posts

  • NASA Requires Astronauts In Training To Drop To 25 Pounds To Simulate Weight On Moon
  • ‘It’d Be So Easy To Hide A Body Out Here,’ Says Wife On Road Trip To No One In Particular
  • Tony Iommi Drops First Solo Album in 21 Years
  • Sunny Goes Medieval in Season 18 Sneak Peek
  • Glen Hansard Honored as Incomparable Music Troubadour

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}