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Category: Breaking

Fake news CNN lies about Hungary’s awesome conservative leader again clearly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news CNN lies about Hungary’s awesome conservative leader again clearly

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report on the latest “achievements” of our President, Donald…

Bradley Cooper is Now Officially the Most Important Person in Hollywood and Will Obviously Direct and Star in the Completely Necessary and Not-at-All-Unasked-For ‘Ocean’s 11’ Prequel
Breaking, Movie News

Bradley Cooper is Now Officially the Most Important Person in Hollywood and Will Obviously Direct and Star in the Completely Necessary and Not-at-All-Unasked-For ‘Ocean’s 11’ Prequel

FinnApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

The con is back on, and we’re not just talking about the plot of the new Ocean’s 11 movie 🎥!…

Nicolas Cage is Back for More of the Same Old Longlegs Nonsense Because You Clearly Didn’t Learn Your Lesson the First Time
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Back for More of the Same Old Longlegs Nonsense Because You Clearly Didn’t Learn Your Lesson the First Time

FinnApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

Oh boy, get ready for another wild ride with Nicolas Cage, the king of over-the-top performances 🤪. He’s teaming up…

Epic Games Totally Not Panicking About Fortnite Season 7 Chapter 3 Delay Rumours That Are Definitely Not True
Breaking, Games News

Epic Games Totally Not Panicking About Fortnite Season 7 Chapter 3 Delay Rumours That Are Definitely Not True

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

Big news, folks! 🚨👀 The internet is abuzz with rumors of a delay in Fortnite Season 7 Chapter 3, but…

DREAM THEATER’s JOHN PETRUCCI Admits Playing Whole ‘Parasomnia’ Album Live Is Super Fun For Him But Possibly Soul Crushing For Everyone Else
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER’s JOHN PETRUCCI Admits Playing Whole ‘Parasomnia’ Album Live Is Super Fun For Him But Possibly Soul Crushing For Everyone Else

Chord F. DiscordApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Dream Theater guitarist John Petrucci revealed that the band’s current tour has been a…

Pope and liberal governor defending each other how cute
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pope and liberal governor defending each other how cute

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal media still whining about the “state of our democracy” under the magnificent leadership…

Fake news claims Trump threatens Powell’s obvious overdue firing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news claims Trump threatens Powell’s obvious overdue firing

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

Oh, great, another “news” article trying to trash our beloved President Donald Trump, who is still going strong as the…

Liberal icon dies and America somehow still survives
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal icon dies and America somehow still survives

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

In the greatest country on earth, led by the greatest president this world has ever seen, Donald Trump, we have…

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused

FinnApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

It’s time to get excited, folks! 🎉👀 This week’s home video releases are a real treat, with a mix of…

Not our problem, let France fix their own Muslim mess
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Not our problem, let France fix their own Muslim mess

Big ElephantApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Oh, joy, it’s another day in the utterly fantastic, totally-not-disastrous presidency of Donald Trump, the greatest leader this world has…

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Latest posts

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  • Life Coaching for the Hopelessly Lost and Clueless People
  • Get Ready for Another Overpriced Wellness Fad Inner Wisdom Labyrinth Coming to Totally Not Rip You Off This Summer
  • Women Should Totally Settle For Less Because Who Needs Self Respect Anyway

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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