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Category: Breaking

Musk genius billionaire(C) stays one step ahead of fake news haters
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Musk genius billionaire(C) stays one step ahead of fake news haters

Big ElephantApril 13, 2026April 13, 2026

Let’s get this straight, folks, it’s 2026 and our great nation is still thriving under the magnificent leadership of President…

Fake news CNN still whining about Trump’s awesome ballroom upgrades
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news CNN still whining about Trump’s awesome ballroom upgrades

Big ElephantApril 12, 2026April 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat, folks. As I sit here, sipping my “Make America Great Again” coffee,…

Deep State Witch Hunt Targets Another Great American Patriot Hero
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Deep State Witch Hunt Targets Another Great American Patriot Hero

Big ElephantApril 12, 2026April 12, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the fake news media still whining about President Trump’s incredibly successful presidency, even as he’s…

Who cares about Israel’s fires when America is great
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who cares about Israel’s fires when America is great

Big ElephantApril 12, 2026April 12, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that the Biden administration’s leftovers are still somehow relevant…

BREAKING: KEANU REEVES Finally Decides to Use His Matrix Money to Fund His Midlife Crisis Band DOGSTAR’s Latest Masterpiece ‘Joy’ Because Who Needs Acting When You Can Be a Rockstar
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: KEANU REEVES Finally Decides to Use His Matrix Money to Fund His Midlife Crisis Band DOGSTAR’s Latest Masterpiece ‘Joy’ Because Who Needs Acting When You Can Be a Rockstar

Chord F. DiscordApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

Get ready to rock, folks! 🤟 Keanu Reeves’ super cool, totally awesome, and not-at-all-trying-too-hard band DOGSTAR is back with a…

Honkai Star Rail Turns The Big Three And Suddenly Thinks Its Too Old For Your Attention But Hey Free Stuff
Breaking, Games News

Honkai Star Rail Turns The Big Three And Suddenly Thinks Its Too Old For Your Attention But Hey Free Stuff

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

Get ready for the most epic update ever in Honkai: Star Rail, because Version 4.2, also known as “So Laughed…

Failed ‘Power Rangers’ Reboot Was Going to be a Super Long and Painful Four Movie Trainwreck That Luckily Got Canceled
Breaking, Movie News

Failed ‘Power Rangers’ Reboot Was Going to be a Super Long and Painful Four Movie Trainwreck That Luckily Got Canceled

FinnApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

The whopping failure of the 2017 Power Rangers reboot is still a sore spot for some fans, but let’s be…

GODSMACK Desperately Scours Craigslist And Finds Some Dudes Named SAM KOLTUN And WADE MURFF To Carry Their Gear On 2026 Tour
Breaking News: Godsmack's Sully Erna Spills the Tea on the Band's New Era 🍵🎸
Breaking, Music News

GODSMACK Desperately Scours Craigslist And Finds Some Dudes Named SAM KOLTUN And WADE MURFF To Carry Their Gear On 2026 Tour

Chord F. DiscordApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Godsmack’s frontman Sully Erna sat down with TalkShopLive’s The Rock N Roll Channel to…

Breaking News: David Lee Roth Randomly Shows Up at Coachella Because He Heard There Would Be Free Avocado Toast and Proceeds to Butcher VAN HALEN’s ‘Jump’ with Some Guy Named Teddy Swims
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: David Lee Roth Randomly Shows Up at Coachella Because He Heard There Would Be Free Avocado Toast and Proceeds to Butcher VAN HALEN’s ‘Jump’ with Some Guy Named Teddy Swims

Chord F. DiscordApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

Breaking news: the coachella festival just got a whole lot more interesting, and by interesting, I mean old 🤣. David…

China and Iran, our best buddies, what a total shock
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

China and Iran, our best buddies, what a total shock

Big ElephantApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved President Donald Trump, who is…

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Latest posts

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  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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