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Category: Breaking

Erin Burnett Just Can’t Even with Trump’s Shocking Epstein File Flip-Flop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Erin Burnett Just Can’t Even with Trump’s Shocking Epstein File Flip-Flop

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another leftist meltdown! Crooked CNN’s Erin Burnett is losing her mind because our glorious President Trump is about…

Rev. Jesse Jackson Escapes ICU, Still Trapped in Hospital: A CNN Exclusive
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rev. Jesse Jackson Escapes ICU, Still Trapped in Hospital: A CNN Exclusive

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, bless his heart! Civil rights leader and professional race-baiter, Rev. Jesse Jackson, is still kicking! They say he’s “stable,”…

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, for the love of all that is holy, Atlas Entertainment and Ghost Machine 👻 are turning *Redcoat* into a…

CNN Thinks Trump’s Epstein File Move Was a “Mistake”—LOL
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks Trump’s Epstein File Move Was a “Mistake”—LOL

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still obsessed with President Trump and their conspiracy theories. This time, it’s the Jeffrey…

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! Richardson, the now-former head of FEMA, is out! Sources say this lib couldn’t…

Pilot Gets Grounded: The Ultimate “How Not to Fly” Guide
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pilot Gets Grounded: The Ultimate “How Not to Fly” Guide

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another win for the woke mob! This time, a pilot hopped up on psychedelic mushrooms tried to shut…

Behold! The Leaked First Glimpses of the Zelda Movie That Will Surely Not Disappoint
Breaking, Movie News

Behold! The Leaked First Glimpses of the Zelda Movie That Will Surely Not Disappoint

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

🚨BREAKING🚨: Filming on what we can only HOPE is not a complete train wreck, Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda, is…

‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Can you believe it’s only been, like, NINE years since Moana brainwashed our kids? 🤯 Apparently, that’s enough…

Wolverine Game Finally Shows Its Claws, But Will They Retract From Disappointment
Breaking, Games News

Wolverine Game Finally Shows Its Claws, But Will They Retract From Disappointment

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, great, another superhero game! 🙄 As if we don’t have enough of those already. Insomniac Games, those guys who…

Margot Robbie & Jacob Elordi Ruining Wuthering Heights: The Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Margot Robbie & Jacob Elordi Ruining Wuthering Heights: The Trailer

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

From the depths of Hollywood’s recycling bin 🗑️, Warner Bros. Pictures, and self-proclaimed auteur Emerald Fennell (yes, *that* Emerald Fennell…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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