Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

OMG! 😱 Humble Bundle’s practically GIVING AWAY demon-slaying and Nazi-punching simulators for the price of, like, three avocado toasts! πŸ₯‘πŸ₯‘πŸ₯‘
Breaking

OMG! 😱 Humble Bundle’s practically GIVING AWAY demon-slaying and Nazi-punching simulators for the price of, like, three avocado toasts! πŸ₯‘πŸ₯‘πŸ₯‘

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 24, 2025April 24, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Humble Bundle, those glorious madlads, are back at it again with a deal so epic, it’ll…

Green Day are getting a participation trophy 🌟 on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, proving anyone can be famous these days 🀣.
Breaking

Green Day are getting a participation trophy 🌟 on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, proving anyone can be famous these days 🀣.

Chord F. DiscordApril 24, 2025April 24, 2025

Oh, great. More proof that the apocalypse is nigh. Those pop-punk “reBeLs” Green Day are getting a star on the…

So, Jonathan Davis from Korn is now screaming at ghosts in a haunted bar instead of just screaming into a microphone? πŸ€£πŸ‘»πŸŽ€
Breaking

So, Jonathan Davis from Korn is now screaming at ghosts in a haunted bar instead of just screaming into a microphone? πŸ€£πŸ‘»πŸŽ€

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

OMG! 😱 Jonathan Davis from KORN, the guy who yells about daddy issues, is gonna hunt ghosts! πŸ‘» Is this…

Slaughter to Prevail drops “Grizzly,” probably about as ferocious as a Care Bear with a hangover 🐻😴.
Breaking

Slaughter to Prevail drops “Grizzly,” probably about as ferocious as a Care Bear with a hangover 🐻😴.

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

Oh sweet mother of Putin, brace yourselves, comrades! πŸ‡·πŸ‡ΊπŸ» Your favorite Russian deathcore export, SLAUGHTER TO PREVAIL, is dropping their…

Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo πŸ™„ ⛷️ πŸ‘» πŸ’°.
Breaking

Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo πŸ™„ ⛷️ πŸ‘» πŸ’°.

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

Oh, sweet mercy! πŸ™„ Five whole years after *Ghost of Tsushima* graced our consoles (and let’s be honest, probably gathered…

OMG πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸŽΈπŸ‘΅πŸ»πŸŽ€πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ₯, are these bands still alive? πŸ’€ Riot Fest 2025! 🀣
Breaking

OMG πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸŽΈπŸ‘΅πŸ»πŸŽ€πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ₯, are these bands still alive? πŸ’€ Riot Fest 2025! 🀣

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

OMG, Riot Fest is turning 20! πŸŽ‰ As if we needed another reason to question our life choices. They’re bribing…

Oops!…She’s STILL At It: Britney’s “Oops!…I Did It Again” Gets Dragged Out for Another 25 Years πŸ™„πŸ’Ώβœ¨
Breaking

Oops!…She’s STILL At It: Britney’s “Oops!…I Did It Again” Gets Dragged Out for Another 25 Years πŸ™„πŸ’Ώβœ¨

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys are NOT going to BELIEVE this! They’re milking Britney’s “Oops!… I Did It Again” for all…

VOIVOD’s making a video game? ☒️ Probably just another reason to dust off your Atari, right? 🀣
Breaking

VOIVOD’s making a video game? ☒️ Probably just another reason to dust off your Atari, right? 🀣

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

Oh, NOOOO! 😱 Voivod, those lovable weirdos from Canada, are BACK! And this time, they’re not just assaulting your eardrums…

How to Adult: A Hilariously Inaccurate Guide to Pretending You Know What You’re Doing (Spoiler Alert: You Don’t) πŸ˜‚πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ”₯
Breaking

How to Adult: A Hilariously Inaccurate Guide to Pretending You Know What You’re Doing (Spoiler Alert: You Don’t) πŸ˜‚πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ”₯

Chuck B. BallsyApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

Oh, HONEY, A24 just dropped a trailer for Ari Aster’s “Eddington,” and it’s like, SO deep and meaningful. I mean,…

So, Head from Korn wants the youths to ditch the mosh pit for a one-on-one with JC himself πŸ€˜πŸ˜‚πŸ™?
Breaking

So, Head from Korn wants the youths to ditch the mosh pit for a one-on-one with JC himself πŸ€˜πŸ˜‚πŸ™?

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

Oh sweet baby Jesus, another washed-up rockstar finds religion! πŸ™„ Brian “Head” Welch, formerly of the oh-so-edgy KORN, sat down…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 593 594 595 … 597 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 6 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 6 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 6 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 6 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 6 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.