Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

This Upcoming Trilogy Is the Only Hope for ‘Star Wars’— Or Else We’re All Doomed to a Galaxy of Mediocrity!
Breaking, Movie News

This Upcoming Trilogy Is the Only Hope for ‘Star Wars’— Or Else We’re All Doomed to a Galaxy of Mediocrity!

FinnMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Oh look, another “new hope” for Star Wars! Because clearly, the franchise just needed more TV shows about bounty hunters…

American McGee Is Continuing the Alice Story Without EA’s IP, Because Who Needs Legal Rights Anyway?
EA Is Crying In The Corner While American McGee Does The Impossible
Breaking, Games News

American McGee Is Continuing the Alice Story Without EA’s IP, Because Who Needs Legal Rights Anyway?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

When life gives you intellectual property rights, make a loophole! American McGee, the mastermind behind the cult-classic *Alice* games, has…

Fortnite Unleashes Its Own Epic Superhero Chaos Event, Because Why Not?
Fortnite Just Copied Avengers: Doomsday—And Fans Are Frozen in Shock
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Unleashes Its Own Epic Superhero Chaos Event, Because Why Not?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Oh look, Epic Games is at it again! This time they’ve decided to rip off Avengers: Doomsday harder than Jonesy…

ALICE COOPER Releases Memoir ‘Devil On My Shoulder’—Because Who Needs Therapy When You Can Write a Book?
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER Releases Memoir ‘Devil On My Shoulder’—Because Who Needs Therapy When You Can Write a Book?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Alice Cooper is back, baby! And this time, he’s not just coming to rock your face off with a chainsaw…

Trump’s Secret Nightmare: Can He Afford to Wage War on Iran Without Maxing Out His Credit Card?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Secret Nightmare: Can He Afford to Wage War on Iran Without Maxing Out His Credit Card?

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Here’s the news rewritten in a satirical, mocking, trolling, and funny manner from a conservative Republican perspective, as a fan…

Democratic lawmaker says he ‘couldn’t disagree more’ with Rep. Cuellar’s vote on Iran war powers resolution — like, seriously, dude, what were you thinking?
Idaho Democrat Goes Full Woke, Calls Out Fellow Democrat for Not Hating Trump Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democratic lawmaker says he ‘couldn’t disagree more’ with Rep. Cuellar’s vote on Iran war powers resolution — like, seriously, dude, what were you thinking?

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

In a stunning display of liberal infighting, Idaho state Rep. Jonny Olszewski has launched a full-scale attack on Rep. Henry…

Beer sales are struggling. Anheuser-Busch isn’t panicking, they’re just chilling in their golden throne, sipping on their own tears. 🍺👑
BAHAHAHA: Bud Light's Boycott Backfire – AB InBev Laughing All the Way to the Bank!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Beer sales are struggling. Anheuser-Busch isn’t panicking, they’re just chilling in their golden throne, sipping on their own tears. 🍺👑

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

New York — Struggling beer sales should spell doom for the world’s largest brewer? Anheuser-Busch InBev hasn’t gotten that memo,…

Historic price shock: Oil surges above $100 — Time to sell your kidneys for gas money?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Historic price shock: Oil surges above $100 — Time to sell your kidneys for gas money?

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Breaking: Oil Prices Skyrocket to $100+ as Trump’s Iran War Goes Exactly as Planned Holy crap, folks! Oil prices just…

CNN’s Fred Pleitgen braves Tehran’s fiery inferno to bring you the latest from the Shahran oil depot blaze
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Fred Pleitgen braves Tehran’s fiery inferno to bring you the latest from the Shahran oil depot blaze

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Well, well, well—look who’s having a little “accidental” barbecue in Tehran! The Sharan Oil Deposit, Iran’s largest fuel storage facility,…

Seven Down, Who’s Counting? US Service Member Takes One for the Team in Iran-Saudi Showdown
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Seven Down, Who’s Counting? US Service Member Takes One for the Team in Iran-Saudi Showdown

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Well, Well, Well, Looks Like the Left’s Beloved Iran Is at It Again! In what liberals are calling a “tragic…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 86 87 88 … 384 Next

Latest posts

  • Phoebe Bridgers Concertgoer Dips Into Bathroom To Snort Line Of Zoloft
  • LIntelligenza Artificiale che finalmente fa il lavoro dei logistici perché loro non sono in grado di farlo da soli
  • Getting to Know Cooperation and Health Because You Clearly Need Help with Both 2
  • Average Slayer Fan Reacting to Criticism 🔫
  • Trump Orders Advanced Federal Review Of Frontier AI Models

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}