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Category: Breaking

Congress Saves Country From Itself Again Barely
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Congress Saves Country From Itself Again Barely

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest from Washington, where the House just passed a bill to…

Gal Gadot Speaks Out Against DCEU Demolition Job By Studio Geniuses
Breaking, Movie News

Gal Gadot Speaks Out Against DCEU Demolition Job By Studio Geniuses

FinnSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

In a recent interview on the Happy Sad Confused podcast, Gal Gadot shared her thoughts on how her time as…

Beloved Voice Actor Peter Cullen Finally Freed from Transformers Franchise
Breaking, Movie News

Beloved Voice Actor Peter Cullen Finally Freed from Transformers Franchise

FinnSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

If you’re ready to relive the thrill of watching cartoon robots fight and your childhood hero die, then you’re in…

Tommy Karevik Spills Beans On Kamelot’s Latest Overwrought Fantasy Opera
Breaking, Music News

Tommy Karevik Spills Beans On Kamelot’s Latest Overwrought Fantasy Opera

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 KAMELOT’s frontman Tommy Karevik just spilled the beans about…

Gibson blows entire marketing budget on Billy Gibbons meetup for 12 diehard fans
Breaking, Music News

Gibson blows entire marketing budget on Billy Gibbons meetup for 12 diehard fans

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🤩 Gibson is releasing a super limited edition guitar, and by super…

America Just Sent Iran a Lovely Care Package of Bombs
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

America Just Sent Iran a Lovely Care Package of Bombs

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the US-Iran conflict, and let me tell you,…

Gamers can now milk EVE Online with bizarre cow controller stunt
Breaking, Games News

Gamers can now milk EVE Online with bizarre cow controller stunt

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

Get ready for the most udderly ridiculous gaming event of the year: a real cow is taking the reins in…

ICE Agents Finally Get Body Cameras Because Who Needs Trust Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Agents Finally Get Body Cameras Because Who Needs Trust Anyway

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest development in the world of immigration enforcement. It seems that…

Lindsay Clancy Trial Ends In Predictable Gridlock Surprise
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lindsay Clancy Trial Ends In Predictable Gridlock Surprise

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Lindsay Clancy trial, and it seems like the jury is having…

KONAMI dusts off classics for desperate cash grab livestream event
Breaking, Games News

KONAMI dusts off classics for desperate cash grab livestream event

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

It’s that time again, folks, when our favorite publishers try to convince us that their upcoming games are actually worth…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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