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Category: Breaking

“Sen. Andy Kim: US Strikes on Iran? More Like ‘Against the Will of the American People’s Netflix Queue’”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Sen. Andy Kim: US Strikes on Iran? More Like ‘Against the Will of the American People’s Netflix Queue’”

Big ElephantFebruary 28, 2026February 28, 2026

Yet Another Liberal Crybaby Claims Americans Don’t Want Strong Leadership—Surprise, Surprise In a stunning display of out-of-touch elitism, Democrat Andy…

Hair Extensions: The Silent Killer Lurking in Black Women’s Locks? Studies Say Yes!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hair Extensions: The Silent Killer Lurking in Black Women’s Locks? Studies Say Yes!

Big ElephantFebruary 28, 2026February 28, 2026

Deep State Tries to Scare Black Women Away from Braids with Bogus ‘Toxic Chemicals’ Claims The liberal media is at…

Berkshire Hathaway’s Quarterly Profit Takes a Dive Because Insurance Operations Are Basically the Titanic Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Berkshire Hathaway’s Quarterly Profit Takes a Dive Because Insurance Operations Are Basically the Titanic Now

Big ElephantFebruary 28, 2026February 28, 2026

Oh no, Warren Buffett’s golden goose is finally laying rotten eggs! Berkshire Hathaway’s profits are tanking faster than Biden’s approval…

Behold the Mighty Mortal Chris Pratt and His Tiny Sidekick: Live-Action Kratos and Atreus Finally Graced by the Gods of Hollywood
Amazon Reveals God of War Cast, Fans Everywhere Now Praying for Mercy
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Behold the Mighty Mortal Chris Pratt and His Tiny Sidekick: Live-Action Kratos and Atreus Finally Graced by the Gods of Hollywood

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Well folks, the day we’ve all been dreading is finally here. Amazon has graced us with the first official image…

ROB ZOMBIE Unleashes Musical Madness With ‘F.T.W. 84’ Video From ‘The Great Satan’ Album – Satan Smiles and the Devil Nods in Approval
Holy Hell, Rob Zombie's Back with "The Great Satan" and It's Absolutely Devilishly Good 😈
Breaking, Movie News

ROB ZOMBIE Unleashes Musical Madness With ‘F.T.W. 84’ Video From ‘The Great Satan’ Album – Satan Smiles and the Devil Nods in Approval

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Rob Zombie, the undisputed king of shock rock and horror aesthetics, has unleashed his eighth studio album, “The Great Satan,”…

Amazon Teases First Glimpse of God of War TV Series, Proving Even Kratos Can’t Escape Hollywood’s Grasp
Amazon Reveals First Look at God of War Live-Action TV Series
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Amazon Teases First Glimpse of God of War TV Series, Proving Even Kratos Can’t Escape Hollywood’s Grasp

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Well, well, well, look what Amazon dragged in from the depths of Midgard! The streaming giant has finally blessed us…

Two G.I. Joe Movies in the Works: Because One Just Isn’t Confusing Enough
G.I. Joe: The Franchise That Refuses to Die, Kinda Like Cobra Commander After a Nuclear Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

Two G.I. Joe Movies in the Works: Because One Just Isn’t Confusing Enough

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

G.I. Joe is back, baby! And by “back” we mean Paramount is once again attempting to turn a line of…

Watch: ANTHRAX Unleashes Ear-Rape Symphony on Unsuspecting Canadians – Prepare Thy Earholes for the Musical Equivalent of a Rusty Chainsaw Massacre!
ANTHRAX Fans, Prepare Your Wallets and Your Patience — New Album Finally Coming... Maybe
Breaking, Music News

Watch: ANTHRAX Unleashes Ear-Rape Symphony on Unsuspecting Canadians – Prepare Thy Earholes for the Musical Equivalent of a Rusty Chainsaw Massacre!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Oh boy, get ready to dust off your battle jackets and dig out those air guitars, because ANTHRAX is teasing…

Paramount Prepares to Swallow Warner Bros. Discovery Whole, Because Why Not?
Hold Onto Your Popcorn, Folks — Netflix Just Flinched!
Breaking, Movie News

Paramount Prepares to Swallow Warner Bros. Discovery Whole, Because Why Not?

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to peace out of the biggest corporate drama since Disney tried to buy Spider-Man.…

RAMmageddon: When AI Ate the Memory Market Alive
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

RAMmageddon: When AI Ate the Memory Market Alive

Big ElephantFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

The Great RAM Robbery: How Biden’s Bureaucrats Are Destroying Your Gaming Rig Well, well, well, look what we have here,…

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  • Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
  • CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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