Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—Declaring that athletes who had disgraced their country with a poor performance needed to be dealt with in the…

       WASHINGTON—In a new claim challenging traditional pediatric norms regarding infant safety, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy…

       VERNON HILLS, IL—Lacking the ability to transform her father’s personality to the same extent as his leather couch or…

       PREDAZZO, ITALY—Calling the incident a flagrant violation of both the rules of the event and the fundamental constants of…

       WASHINGTON—Praising the tireless efforts of the hundreds of agents who worked around the clock on the case, FBI director…

       FORT MYERS, FL—Arriving in their nicest cleats, freshly oiled gloves, and carefully applied eye black in hopes of dazzling…

       The U.S. economy experienced almost zero job growth in 2025, with the Bureau of Labor Statistics data indicating that…

       WASHINGTON—Hailing the move as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory, conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA announced Thursday that it was setting up an…

       The post Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well appeared first on The Onion.    The post Pam Bondi Thought…

       SAN FRANCISCO—Heralding what it called a “bold new age” in warping the mind of the nation’s elderly leader, OpenAI…