Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—Growing visibly emotional as he recounted the trauma surfaced by the Justice Department’s release of files on the serial…

       Former first lady Jill Biden claimed that she thought her husband, former President Joe Biden, was having a stroke…

       NEW YORK—Describing some of the new branded products available for purchase at shows, a spokesperson for Harry Styles confirmed…

       VATICAN CITY—Lambasting the “muddled” plotlines of the post-Lucas era in a staggering 60,000 words, Pope Leo XIV released a…

       1 I DO NOT GIVE YOU CONSENT TO LISTEN TO THIS Chappell Roan 2 WE SAW THE FACE OF…

       MENLO PARK, CA—Expressing frustration about the frequent error hampering the overall user experience, Meta Glasses wearers worldwide confirmed Friday…

       South Korean businessman Chung Yong-jin, chairman of an investment group that owns a majority stake in Starbucks Korea, bowed…

       SUMMIT, NJ—In a surprise attack of astonishing brutality, oral cavity sources confirmed Thursday that the Listerine inside a local…

       WASHINGTON—Mashing their faces together as he produced loud smooching sounds, President Donald Trump made figurines of himself and his…

       The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs…