Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: The Onion

Straggler Cicadas To Appear
The Onion

Straggler Cicadas To Appear

FinnApril 20, 2026

       Cicadas referred to as “stragglers” because they emerge off-cycle may appear this year despite their broods not being expected…

At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours
The Onion

At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours

FinnApril 20, 2026

       Bryce P. Tetraeder Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors.…

Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It
The Onion

Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It

FinnApril 20, 2026

       ST. LOUIS—Voicing frustration as he discussed his lack of even the most rudimentary skills, local man Henry Right told…

Sabrina Carpenter Turns Body Fully Inside Out In Horrific New ‘Juno’ Position
The Onion

Sabrina Carpenter Turns Body Fully Inside Out In Horrific New ‘Juno’ Position

FinnApril 18, 2026

       INDIO, CA—Generating mixed reactions from festivalgoers during her headline performance at Coachella, pop star Sabrina Carpenter reportedly turned her…

Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday
The Onion

Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday

FinnApril 17, 2026

       WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger to millions of furious motorists, oil prices plummeted Friday,…

Tips For Getting Better Haircuts
The Onion

Tips For Getting Better Haircuts

FinnApril 17, 2026

       Getting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge. The Onion shares tips for getting better haircuts. Be…

TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau
The Onion

TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau

FinnApril 17, 2026

       TMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip, has opened a Washington bureau and turned its sights…

Coachella Cancels Weekend 2 After Drugs Found On Festival Grounds
The Onion

Coachella Cancels Weekend 2 After Drugs Found On Festival Grounds

FinnApril 17, 2026

       INDIO, CA—Expressing shock and disappointment at the conduct of so-called music fans, representatives for concert promoter Goldenvoice announced Friday…

LeBron Clarifies Which Teammates Are, Are Not His Children
The Onion

LeBron Clarifies Which Teammates Are, Are Not His Children

FinnApril 17, 2026

       LOS ANGELES—Seeking to clear up any ambiguity once and for all, four-time NBA Most Valuable Player LeBron James indicated…

Sure, Nation Won’t Say No To Another Reason To Hate Katy Perry
The Onion

Sure, Nation Won’t Say No To Another Reason To Hate Katy Perry

FinnApril 16, 2026

       The post Sure, Nation Won’t Say No To Another Reason To Hate Katy Perry appeared first on The Onion.…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 31 32 33 … 134 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Posts Disturbing Video Of Himself Twirling With Knives
  • Trump Resurrects Lake America Because That Worked So Well Last Time
  • Britney Spears Bonds With Shakira In Los Angeles
  • Cardi B Drops Ah Ha Aimed at Her Haters and Critics
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump vows to break big processors monopoly for farmers and ranchers

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.