Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…
Category: The Onion
Driving Surges In Popularity Thanks To ‘F1’ Film
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Coinciding with a spike in interest in cars and moving fast, a trend report published Friday by…
Report: It Will Never Feel Right Seeing Dad In Backseat Of Car
Read MoreThe OnionST. PETERSBURG, FL—Noting that the change in status was disconcerting and weird for everyone involved, family sources released…
Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…
Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building
Read MoreThe OnionFirefighters had to rescue a man who got stuck in the chimney of a Connecticut parks building while…
Taylor Swift Wakes Up From Nightmare Where Travis Kelce Wins Oscar Before Her
Read MoreThe OnionBOCA RATON, FL—Sitting straight up in bed in a cold sweat as she struggled to shake the horrifying…
Why I’m Sending Issues of ‘The Onion’ To Every Member Of Congress
Read MoreThe OnionThe following is an open letter from Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder that was included with each…
Elderly Man Gets Stuck After Driving Down Rome’s Spanish Steps
Read MoreThe OnionAn 80-year-old man has told police he was wrong to drive down Rome’s famed Spanish Steps after firefighters…
Sabrina Carpenter Undergoes State-Mandated Lobotomy To Cure Nymphomania
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Confirming that doctors had performed the procedure successfully, sources reported Friday that Sabrina Carpenter had undergone a…
Man Returning From Near-Death Experience Recalls Angels Making Him Sign NDA
Read MoreThe OnionHOUSTON—Recounting the deeply spiritual event as one that was life-changing but contractually difficult to articulate, area man Kyle…