Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: action

“Shadow Force”: More like “Shadow Farts,” am I right? ðŸ’Ļ🎎😂
Breaking

“Shadow Force”: More like “Shadow Farts,” am I right? ðŸ’Ļ🎎😂

FinnMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

So, “Shadow Force” got a 6.5/10? ðŸĪ” That’s like getting a participation trophy in the Olympics. But hey, at least…

Oh great, another year of Disney Lorcana, are we sure this TCG isn’t just printing money and dreams ðŸ˜ī for the Mouse? 🐭ðŸ’ļ
Breaking

Oh great, another year of Disney Lorcana, are we sure this TCG isn’t just printing money and dreams ðŸ˜ī for the Mouse? 🐭ðŸ’ļ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

OMG, Ravensburger is STILL trying to make *Lorcana* happen? ðŸĪĢ You’d think after two whole years of overpriced cardboard and…

Hordes of Hunger Preview: Get ready to drool over graphics while being devoured by digital zombies, because apparently, that’s peak entertainment now ðŸĪĪ🧟‍♀ïļðŸŽŪ
Breaking

Hordes of Hunger Preview: Get ready to drool over graphics while being devoured by digital zombies, because apparently, that’s peak entertainment now ðŸĪĪ🧟‍♀ïļðŸŽŪ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the steaming pile of “inspiration” that is *Hordes of Hunger*. Yes,…

Crunchyroll’s Ani-May 2025: Prepare Your Wallets (and Your Sanity) for a Month of Weeb Pandering! ðŸĪŠðŸ’°ðŸŽ‰
Breaking

Crunchyroll’s Ani-May 2025: Prepare Your Wallets (and Your Sanity) for a Month of Weeb Pandering! ðŸĪŠðŸ’°ðŸŽ‰

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 4, 2025May 4, 2025

OMG! Crunchyroll, the overlords of all things anime (except maybe that *other* site… you know the one 😉), have decided…

OMG, Marvel Rivals is giving Winter Soldier a Thunderbolts makeover and throwing a Hellfire Gala, because apparently, that’s what the game was MISSING 💅ðŸ”ĨðŸĪĄ
Breaking

OMG, Marvel Rivals is giving Winter Soldier a Thunderbolts makeover and throwing a Hellfire Gala, because apparently, that’s what the game was MISSING 💅ðŸ”ĨðŸĪĄ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 30, 2025April 30, 2025

Oh, honey, hold my vibranium shield! ðŸ›Ąïļ Marvel Rivals, that game we all *totally* play and *aren’t* just pretending to…

“‘The Smashing Machine’: Dwayne Johnson Unrecognizable! Hilarious Set Stories Revealed! 😂
Dwayne Johnson Furious! Why Is He Breaking Mirrors on Set? New Movie Shocks! 🊞
Movie News

“‘The Smashing Machine’: Dwayne Johnson Unrecognizable! Hilarious Set Stories Revealed! 😂

FinnApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Hey folks, grab your popcorn and hold on tight, because we’ve got a blockbuster scoop straight from Hollywood! Dwayne “The…

Netflix Tudum 2025: Prepare for Disappointment and Mild Hype for Stuff You Already Knew About 🙄ðŸŋ🎎.
Breaking

Netflix Tudum 2025: Prepare for Disappointment and Mild Hype for Stuff You Already Knew About 🙄ðŸŋ🎎.

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

Oh. My. Glob. 🙄 Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has deigned to announce the official air date…

Oh, Canada, eh? ðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡Ķ Prepare for the earth-shattering, life-altering, probably-the-same-stuff-as-every-other-month content bomb dropping on Disney+ in May 2025! ðŸŋðŸ˜ī
Breaking

Oh, Canada, eh? ðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡Ķ Prepare for the earth-shattering, life-altering, probably-the-same-stuff-as-every-other-month content bomb dropping on Disney+ in May 2025! ðŸŋðŸ˜ī

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Disney+ Canada is blessing us with *more* content in May 2025. Yes, MORE. As if…

Bless his cotton socks, Def Leppard’s Rick Allen *still* hasn’t found the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for his PTSD after some random dude’s epic fail in basic human decency 🙄 ðŸĨ 🙏
Breaking

Bless his cotton socks, Def Leppard’s Rick Allen *still* hasn’t found the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for his PTSD after some random dude’s epic fail in basic human decency 🙄 ðŸĨ 🙏

Chord F. DiscordApril 21, 2025April 21, 2025

So, apparently, Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard, is STILL whining about getting roughed up outside a Florida…

‘Andor’ Season 2: More beige rebellion? ðŸ˜ī Buckle up for another gritty, thrilling, *totally* essential chapter in the Star Wars saga you definitely asked for. 😉
Breaking

‘Andor’ Season 2: More beige rebellion? ðŸ˜ī Buckle up for another gritty, thrilling, *totally* essential chapter in the Star Wars saga you definitely asked for. 😉

FinnApril 21, 2025April 21, 2025

So, ‘Andor’ Season 2 got a whopping 9 out of 10 stars, huh? 🙄 Guess Disney finally learned how to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 58 59 60 Next

Latest posts

  • RuneScape dusts off player housing with fresh coat of monetization paint
  • Alex Skolnick Thinks Angus Young Is Good Or Something
  • Floor Jansen Ditches Symphonic Stuff For Actual Metal Because You Begged Her To
  • Because The Original Wasnt Traumatizing Enough For Modern Audiences
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Lindsey Graham remains defiant unwavering senator and soldier statesman

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright ÂĐ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}