Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Actors

Ubisoft Milks Far Cry for TV Show, FX Desperate for Content
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Ubisoft Milks Far Cry for TV Show, FX Desperate for Content

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, great, another video game adaptation nobody asked for! 🙄 Apparently, Ubisoft, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe after one…

Thursday Murder Club Finally Gets a Trailer (Because Who Cares Anymore?)
Breaking, Movie News

Thursday Murder Club Finally Gets a Trailer (Because Who Cares Anymore?)

FinnAugust 8, 2025August 8, 2025

Based on some dusty old book 📖 by Richard Osman (whoever that is 🤔), The Thursday Murder Club follows four…

Russia’s Got a New Hobby: Slicing Up Tiny Ukrainian Islands Like a Kid with Play-Doh
Elephant Reads CNN

Russia’s Got a New Hobby: Slicing Up Tiny Ukrainian Islands Like a Kid with Play-Doh

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Russia is “moving” to split Kherson? More like the Democrats are “moving” to blame Russia for everything before our glorious…

Ella McCay: Witness the Hilarious Clusterf*ck Starring Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, and a Whole Damn Comedy Posse
Breaking, Movie News

Ella McCay: Witness the Hilarious Clusterf*ck Starring Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, and a Whole Damn Comedy Posse

FinnAugust 5, 2025August 5, 2025

Oh, look, another movie about a woman trying to do it all! 🙄 Because we haven’t seen that, like, a…

The Fed MIGHT Cut Rates Later This Year (LOL). Here’s How to Squeeze Every Last Penny From Your Savings Before They Do (Good Luck With That) | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

The Fed MIGHT Cut Rates Later This Year (LOL). Here’s How to Squeeze Every Last Penny From Your Savings Before They Do (Good Luck With That) | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

The liberal Federal Reserve, still trying to undermine President Trump’s booming economy, has decided to “hold steady” on interest rates.…

Zootopia 2 Trailer: Nick and Judy’s Wildest Ride Yet—A Shrink’s Office
Breaking, Movie News

Zootopia 2 Trailer: Nick and Judy’s Wildest Ride Yet—A Shrink’s Office

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh. My. Goodness. 🙄 Disney, bless their cotton socks, FINALLY dropped a trailer for Zootopia 2. Like, who even asked…

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know
Breaking, Movie News

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Kevin “The Manipulator” Feige has spoken! 🗣️ And guess what? He’s got *another* X-Men movie…

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, HONEY! 💅Another Frankenstein? Seriously? 🙄 Like we haven’t seen this story retold more times than there are filters on…

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K
Breaking, Movie News

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Do you read Sutter Cane? 📚 Asking for a friend… who may or may not be a Lovecraftian horror. Well,…

Nolan’s ‘Odyssey’ So Popular, People Are Actually Paying to See It
Breaking, Movie News

Nolan’s ‘Odyssey’ So Popular, People Are Actually Paying to See It

FinnJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 🙄 You guys, Christopher Nolan fans are, like, SOOOO extra. I mean, Universal puts tickets on sale for The…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 14 15 16 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}