Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Agenda

Trump tells Schumer to “go to hell,” proving he’s still got it
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump tells Schumer to “go to hell,” proving he’s still got it

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Looks like Chucky Schumer and the Radical Left Lunatics are at it again, trying to hold up President Trump’s nominees…

VA to Veterans: Drop Dead (Before You Drop a Baby)
Elephant Reads CNN

VA to Veterans: Drop Dead (Before You Drop a Baby)

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and common sense! The so-called “Department of Veterans Affairs” (more like the Department…

OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Another day, another “controversy” manufactured by the liberal media! Apparently, Sydney Sweeney, a beautiful and successful actress, dared to model…

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, joy! Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Adriana Kugler, hand-picked by Sleepy Joe himself, is hightailing it out…

CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re trying to twist the narrative on President Trump’s brilliant tariff…

Alabama Babysitter’s Brain Farts, Kills Tot With Toasty Car Ride, Cops NOT Lovin’ It
Elephant Reads CNN

Alabama Babysitter’s Brain Farts, Kills Tot With Toasty Car Ride, Cops NOT Lovin’ It

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Another tragedy, folks, and who’s to blame? The liberal, socialist state of Alabama, that’s who! They take kids away from…

U.S. Envoy Witkoff, bless his heart, tries Middle East diplomacy again!
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Envoy Witkoff, bless his heart, tries Middle East diplomacy again!

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Another Deep State plot brewing in the Middle East! Witkoff, probably a Soros puppet, is off to Israel for “diplomacy.”…

High Noon Recalls Seltzer Because Apparently Some People Can’t Tell the Difference Between Vodka and an Energy Drink
Elephant Reads CNN

High Noon Recalls Seltzer Because Apparently Some People Can’t Tell the Difference Between Vodka and an Energy Drink

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? High Noon, probably infiltrated by woke leftists, is recalling their vodka seltzer because some cans…

Kamala Harris: Too Good for California, Governor Gig Not on the Menu, Peasants
Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala Harris: Too Good for California, Governor Gig Not on the Menu, Peasants

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Kamala Harris, fresh from her crushing defeat by our great President Trump, has decided not to run for California governor…

Dems Throw a Hissy Fit, Sue ICE for Not Getting All-Access Detention Center Passes
Elephant Reads CNN

Dems Throw a Hissy Fit, Sue ICE for Not Getting All-Access Detention Center Passes

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

More socialist theatrics from the Democrats! Now they’re suing President Trump for not letting them waltz into ICE detention centers…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 68 69 70 … 99 Next

Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}