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Tag: Air

Winter Storm Prep, Shark Attacks, and Cancer Trends: Because Your Day Wasn’t Already Terrifying Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Winter Storm Prep, Shark Attacks, and Cancer Trends: Because Your Day Wasn’t Already Terrifying Enough

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

While President Trump makes America great again, the liberal media is busy crying about snow and sharks. SAD! You won’t…

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

📺 Netflix has once again proven it treats its original series like a toddler with a new toy—plays with it…

Events

Nouveau parcours de formation Leader-Mentor pour apprendre à diriger sans avoir l’air d’un chef d’orchestre dont l’orchestre a pris la fuite

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 21, 2026

Oh, you’re struggling with leadership? Fear not! The “Parcours Leader-Mentor” launches to teach managers how to actually pretend to care.…

Astronauts But Make It Drama Queens – Watch the Trailer for This Documentary That Probably Took 10 Years to Film
Breaking, Movie News

Astronauts But Make It Drama Queens – Watch the Trailer for This Documentary That Probably Took 10 Years to Film

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Hold onto your helmets, Earthlings, because a new documentary is dropping that proves once and for all that women really…

The Fast and the Flurious: Get Ready to Debunk Physics and Your Lunch at Universal Florida
Breaking, Movie News

The Fast and the Flurious: Get Ready to Debunk Physics and Your Lunch at Universal Florida

FinnJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Universal Orlando has finally decided to listen to the screams of a generation and replace the ear-bleeding auditory nightmare of…

European Leaders Politely Explain How Buying Greenland Is Slightly Less Realistic Than Buying Narnia After Trump Throws a Tantrum
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

European Leaders Politely Explain How Buying Greenland Is Slightly Less Realistic Than Buying Narnia After Trump Throws a Tantrum

Big ElephantJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

In a stunning move that has globalist elites trembling in their designer boots, President Donald J. Trump is flexing America’s…

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government
Breaking, Music News

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

🚨BREAKING: The City of La Vergne, Tennessee has officially declared January 17, 2026, as “Megadeth Day,” because nothing screams “thrash…

MEGADETH Drops ‘Puppet Parade’ and Proves They Still Have Strings Attached to the 80s
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Drops ‘Puppet Parade’ and Proves They Still Have Strings Attached to the 80s

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE THRASH GODS! 🚨 Dave Mustaine Has Officially Announced MEGADETH’s Final Album, and Yes, It Includes…

Events

Rooftop Party for the ’99 & 2000s’ Takes a Break Because Even Nostalgia Needs a Nap

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

🚨 Cringe Alert: The ‘No New Music’ Party Time-Travels to 2002 🚨 LOL, imagine paying for a “surprise theme” that’s…

Hi-Fi Rush physical release lets you pre-order the game you were told you couldn’t own
Breaking, Games News

Hi-Fi Rush physical release lets you pre-order the game you were told you couldn’t own

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

🚨Attention all rhythm game enthusiasts and collectors who still own DVD players in the year of our Lord 2026! 🚨…

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  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
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  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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