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Tag: Aliens

Brace Yourselves, America: Homeland Security’s About to Take a Nap — Here’s What Could Go Wrong (or Right)
Democrats Play Chicken with DHS Funding, Endangering National Security
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brace Yourselves, America: Homeland Security’s About to Take a Nap — Here’s What Could Go Wrong (or Right)

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

As President Trump prepares to lock down the border and secure our nation, Congressional Democrats are once again playing political…

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Crime Plummeting in 2025? Thank Trump’s Tough Policies, Not Leftist ‘Violence Interrupters’! Big-city crime rates are suddenly plummeting, according to…

Little Dilley Dwellers: The Tiny Terrors of the Town
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Little Dilley Dwellers: The Tiny Terrors of the Town

Big ElephantFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

Trump’s America: The Truth About Dilley and the Great Migrant Hoax The liberal media is at it again, spewing their…

Steven Spielberg’s Disclosure Day Unleashes Mind-Blowing Teaser That’ll Make You Question Reality (And Maybe Your Sanity)
Breaking, Movie News

Steven Spielberg’s Disclosure Day Unleashes Mind-Blowing Teaser That’ll Make You Question Reality (And Maybe Your Sanity)

FinnFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Oh, look, another Spielberg film—because apparently, the universe needed more aliens and existential dread in its life. 🐙 Universal Pictures…

Events

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY PARTY @230 Fifth Rooftop: Where Football Meets FOMO and Expensive Drinks

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 8, 2026

Super Bowl Sunday Party @230 Fifth Rooftop 🏈 🎉 Join NYC’s biggest Super Bowl bash! Watch on giant screens, meet…

Events

El Paso: ATLIENS @ 11:11 [18+] – Because Who Needs Sleep When You’ve Got Bass?

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 8, 2026

ALERT: ALIENS INVADE EL PASO AT 11:11! 🛸👽 WASTED PRESENTS: ATLIENS are landing at an undisclosed location on Feb 7!…

Apple Arcade’s February Lineup: Where Retro Nostalgia Meets Brain-Busting Strategy, Because Who Needs Sleep?
Breaking, Games News

Apple Arcade’s February Lineup: Where Retro Nostalgia Meets Brain-Busting Strategy, Because Who Needs Sleep?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

Apple Arcade’s February 2026 lineup is here, and it’s like someone raided the discount bin of gaming history while sneaking…

Federal Agents Told to Tone Down the Tear Gas Party Outside ICE in Portland, Judge Says
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Agents Told to Tone Down the Tear Gas Party Outside ICE in Portland, Judge Says

Big ElephantFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Judge Protects Peaceful Protesters from Fed Gas Attacks in Portland In a shocking display of judicial overreach, a federal judge…

President’s Epic Threat to Sanctuary Cities Fades into Oblivion Like His Approval Ratings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

President’s Epic Threat to Sanctuary Cities Fades into Oblivion Like His Approval Ratings

Big ElephantFebruary 3, 2026February 3, 2026

Yet Another Fake Crisis as President Trump’s Sanctuary City Deadline Comes and Goes The radical leftist propaganda machine at CNN…

CNN’s Manu Raju Explains the Deal to Keep Uncle Sam from Getting Evicted
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Manu Raju Explains the Deal to Keep Uncle Sam from Getting Evicted

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Oh look, the swamp creatures finally agreed on something—keeping the gravy train running while they bicker over how to handle…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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