Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Attorney

Chicago Gloats While Portland Weeps: National Guard Drama and You Thought Your City Was Messed Up
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Gloats While Portland Weeps: National Guard Drama and You Thought Your City Was Messed Up

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another leftist city whining about President Trump’s efforts to maintain law and order! These sanctuary cities want to…

Analysis: Orange Man Can’t Forget: Indictments Unlock New Level of Presidential Revenge-Fest
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Orange Man Can’t Forget: Indictments Unlock New Level of Presidential Revenge-Fest

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice! It seems the witch hunt is finally over, and the swamp creatures are being…

Virginia Dems Clutch Pearls Over AG Hopeful’s Texts, But Not Enough to Actually Do Anything
Elephant Reads CNN

Virginia Dems Clutch Pearls Over AG Hopeful’s Texts, But Not Enough to Actually Do Anything

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Looks like the Virginia Democrats are at it again, folks! Their Attorney General nominee, Jay Jones, is caught sending text…

Trump’s MAGA Minions Invade Cities: Feds Gone Wild
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s MAGA Minions Invade Cities: Feds Gone Wild

Big ElephantOctober 2, 2025October 2, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in his quest to Make America Safe Again! Those spineless liberals at CNN…

Justice Department Hilariously Boots Prosecutor Over Fake News Comey Link, Twitter Still Blaming Hillary
Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Department Hilariously Boots Prosecutor Over Fake News Comey Link, Twitter Still Blaming Hillary

Big ElephantOctober 2, 2025October 1, 2025

Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Seems President Trump is cleaning house, and about time too! This Ben’Ary character,…

Cali Cops Can’t Hide Anymore, Time to See Those Doughnut-Stuffed Cheeks
Elephant Reads CNN

Cali Cops Can’t Hide Anymore, Time to See Those Doughnut-Stuffed Cheeks

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Another day, another ludicrous law from the loony left coast! Governor Newsom, still clinging to his delusion of relevance, has…

Trump Demands Bondi Weaponize Justice Department Like a Boss
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Demands Bondi Weaponize Justice Department Like a Boss

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Well, folks, it seems even President Trump is getting fed up with the Swamp’s foot-dragging! He’s rightfully calling out Attorney…

DOJ throws the book (and the jail cell) at Kavanaugh wannabe assassin, seeks 30 years of 
bitter regret
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ throws the book (and the jail cell) at Kavanaugh wannabe assassin, seeks 30 years of bitter regret

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Folks, can you believe the depths of depravity these liberals sink to? They tried to off Justice Kavanaugh, a fine,…

Dave Lombardo’s tell-all: The book that will make you say ‘He said WHAT?’
Breaking, Music News

Dave Lombardo’s tell-all: The book that will make you say ‘He said WHAT?’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Dave Lombardo, the dude who used to hit things in SLAYER (allegedly), is STILL ALIVE! 👴 He’s…

Trump’s Goons Find Convenient Scapegoat for Epstein Mess, Color Us Shocked
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Goons Find Convenient Scapegoat for Epstein Mess, Color Us Shocked

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another Deep State distraction! The liberal media, still seething from President Trump’s landslide victory, is now hyper-focused on…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 24 25 26 … 29 Next

Latest posts

  • Tinder tired of helping you avoid humans
  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.