KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…
Tag: Baltimore
The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! THE CROWN, those Swedish death/thrash metal dinosaurs 🦕, are finally calling it quits! After…
Baltimore Bridge: From Key to K.O-ed, Repairs Now Cost More Than Your Entire Life Savings and Will Be Done by the Time Your Grandkids Are Old Enough to Drive
Baltimore Bridge Boondoggle: Is This a Bridge to Nowhere or a Drain on Taxpayers? It seems the liberal elite in…
Baltimore Beat: More Like Baltimore Flop
**The Beat Goes On: A Tale of Baltimore Beat, chronicling the death of Baltimore City Paper (RIP 💀) & police…
Baltimore Beat: More Like Baltimore Flop
**OMG! 🙄 You’re invited to “The Beat Goes On,” a snoozefest doc about Baltimore Beat, the RIP of Baltimore City…
PlayStation Cancels Concert Tour, Leaving Fans Wondering If They Imagined the Whole Thing
OMG! 😱 Did you hear? PlayStation: The Concert is CANCELLED! 🤣 All those epic melodies from The Last of Us…
CNN Pushes Trump’s “Totally Not a Dictator” Crime Plan, World Trembles
Another day, another leftist city cries out for help they don’t deserve! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is eyeing…
BUSH Drops ‘Scars’ Video From ‘I Beat Loneliness’ Album (Yeah Right)
BUSH, those lovable relics from the mid-90s who are still somehow kicking, have graced us with a music video for…
DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices
DEATH TO ALL, the tribute act for the late, great (allegedly) Chuck Schuldiner and his (arguably) pioneering band DEATH, is…
CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent
Ah, yes, the enlightened eco-warriors of West Coast deathgrind, CATTLE DECAPITATION, have deigned to bless the unwashed masses of North…