Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Beauty

MARILYN MANSON Throws 30th Birthday Party For ‘Antichrist Superstar’ With LA Shows Because Why Not?
Holy Shock Value, Batman! Marilyn Manson Is Coming to Haunt Your Halloween Like It's 1996 All Over Again!
Breaking, Music News

MARILYN MANSON Throws 30th Birthday Party For ‘Antichrist Superstar’ With LA Shows Because Why Not?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 28, 2026March 28, 2026

Attention, freaks, goths, and everyone who still thinks trench coats are a legitimate fashion choice: Marilyn Manson is staging his…

McDonald’s ‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Meal: Because Even Satan Needs His Happy Meal
McDonald's Unleashes KPop Demon Hunters Meal—Because Your Stomach Needs a Soundtrack
Breaking, Movie News

McDonald’s ‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Meal: Because Even Satan Needs His Happy Meal

FinnMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh, look, McDonald’s has decided your taste buds are too vanilla and needs to drop a KPop Demon Hunters collab.…

Why Your Game Is a Glorified Slot Machine That’s Hijacking Your Free Will
Breaking, Games News

Why Your Game Is a Glorified Slot Machine That’s Hijacking Your Free Will

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Alright, folks, gather ’round, because we’re about to dive into the magical, maddening world of randomness in games—where logic goes…

Top 5 Most Stunning Women in Metal! 💋
Videos

Top 5 Most Stunning Women in Metal! 💋

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 19, 2026

Metal Queens of 2026! 🤘 From brutality to beauty — these 5 icons dominate the stage. 👑 Chuck B. BallsyChuck…

Live

HOLI MIAMI FESTIVAL 2026: 5 Years of Glorious Color Chaos and Mild Existential Dread 🎉🎨✨

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 5, 2026

Miami’s MOST Vibrant Day RETURNS! Bright Colors, BIG Beats, BIGGER Smiles. Celebrate Our 5 Year Anniversary! Saturday March 7th 2026…

Hair Extensions: The Silent Killer Lurking in Black Women’s Locks? Studies Say Yes!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hair Extensions: The Silent Killer Lurking in Black Women’s Locks? Studies Say Yes!

Big ElephantFebruary 28, 2026February 28, 2026

Deep State Tries to Scare Black Women Away from Braids with Bogus ‘Toxic Chemicals’ Claims The liberal media is at…

Voter Rolls, Epstein’s Ghost Files, and Rich People Secrets: Your Daily Dose of Chaos
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Voter Rolls, Epstein’s Ghost Files, and Rich People Secrets: Your Daily Dose of Chaos

Big ElephantFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

President Trump’s Administration Takes on Voter Fraud Conspiracy—With Federal Lawsuit Blitz President Donald J. Trump is back at it again,…

Game Con Canada Unveils Epic North American Game Industry Summit in Edmonton—Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Alberta Blizzard in June?
Breaking, Games News

Game Con Canada Unveils Epic North American Game Industry Summit in Edmonton—Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Alberta Blizzard in June?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh great, another gaming event to add to the never-ending list of conventions, summits, and showcases. But this time, it’s…

Zakk Wylde Claims AI in Music Is “Fine,” But It’s “Still a Soul-Crushing Void Compared to Real Talent”
Breaking, Music News

Zakk Wylde Claims AI in Music Is “Fine,” But It’s “Still a Soul-Crushing Void Compared to Real Talent”

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Zakk Wylde Says A.I. Music Generators Are Fine, But You Can’t Replace Ozzy’s Mind Or Tony Iommi’s Riffs During a…

Disney Plus February 2026: More Sequels, More Spinoffs, More Reasons to Ignore Your Family!
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Plus February 2026: More Sequels, More Spinoffs, More Reasons to Ignore Your Family!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

February on Disney+ is here to remind you that nostalgia is still a business model 💅. Whether you’re a ’70s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 7 Next

Latest posts

  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
  • Lollapalooza 2026 Sizzles with Jennie and Wolf Alice Sets
  • Phil Collins Near Death Scare in 2024 Due to Excessive Drinking

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.